This morning, I had a bad hair day. I felt so grouchy inside. I am not usually like that. For me that is a petty reason to be feeling down or cranky. My husband and I were taking the kids to the nearby park. I still could not fix my hair. Put it up, down, up, no good. I felt so lousy. I was not feeling good about myself. So I put a big hat on (just like the grandmas walking on a park) to hide my hair. Eventually, I got irritated with the big black hat so I took it off. I put my hair down from a hair donut. It was sunny and the kids were having fun running around. I put the hat on again since my face felt the scorching heat of the sun. I badly wanted to go home. Suddenly, someone I did not feel like talking to was approaching the park with her kids. She reminds me so much of a tactless person I know (which I dislike). With the bad mood, I certainly did not feel like talking, but it left me with no choice. Then she was talking about how my husband looks like he is 25 years old. A lot of people say that he looks 10 years younger than his age. He has a baby face you can say and he works out regularly. This was agitating me. With my low self esteem this morning, it also reminded me of how hard I am trying to lose weight. It was implied or maybe I was thinking about it that I look older and “bigger”. When we came home, I cooked lunch, fed the kids, gave them a bath. As soon as my little girl fell asleep from the nap, without hesitation I told my husband that I am going out for a hair cut. I do not remember the last time I changed my hairstyle. Maybe it was way back in 2009 after I gave birth to my son. For years, I had the same hairstyle. Maybe today I just got sick of it. I needed a change. I went to the Salon and slowly I was feeling light (outside and inside) as I see the long strands saying goodbye. I came home feeling better. I put on a little make up and I started writing. Why did not do it soon? Did I forget? Was I just contented all those times? Maybe I was concerned that I do not look good anymore with short hair? But I realized…it will still grow if I can not pull it through. It is not the end of the world.
Change is part of life. It is necessary at some point.