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Healing Wounds 2

I could not sleep… and  when I finally did, my dreams were filled with her. In the morning when I usually just jumped off my bed feeling energetic and happy, today, I felt so sore. It was hard to get up.

I thought I have finally recovered from the wound I had. I thought I was healed from strong emotions of dislike or even hatred. I thought I was ready to see her. Until last night when I realized that I will be seeing her real soon, that she will be coming here. I felt so sick inside and physically too. What will you do if that part of the past that you want to forget and get rid off in you head comes haunting you? I pray that I will be blind and deaf and nothing can annoy and irritate me. I want to keep my defenses up so as not to break. I won’t let the monster come out again. A monster who is filled with “Aaarggghh” locked inside.

Maybe it is God’s will. I asked Him if He can delay it. But here it is. Maybe Today and in the coming days, I know I will have to gather all my courage and my strength. I feel my old self is coming out but my happy self is fighting it. I can to over come this…

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