First Christmas Without Her

When we go to church every Sunday, I always notice a couple who I think are on their 80’s. Although they’re very old, I can definitely still see and feel their love for each other. They look very happy.

I remember in July 2016, they had to sit close to us because the church was packed. I could hear the old man singing so beautifully. Before leaving, the old man handed us a prayer pamphlet. It was a devotion to St. Joseph. The old lady had a very sweet smile.

Sometime in October 2016, the church recognized all the couples who celebrated their wedding anniversary. This couple was one of them. I heard they celebrated their 57 years together. So after the mass, I came up to them to congratulate them. I told them that they are an inspiration to young married couples like us. I saw the old lady’s face beaming and they proudly talked about their kids, grand kids, and great grand children. I gave them a hug and said bye.

In November 2016, I noticed that the old man was alone. For a few weeks, I wanted to come up to him to ask how he was but never got the chance. I had a feeling and I hope I was wrong.

Last night, my eyes were fixed on the old man. It is a week before Christmas and I decided to greet him a Merry Christmas in advance after the service. His name is Raul. It is the first Christmas without her after 57 years. He said he always sees her in spirit.

We talked for a while. I mentioned about my Dad who passed away last year. Somehow when I see Raul he reminds me of him. Same age. Both wearing their favorite beige/khaki jacket. After mentioning about my Dad, Raul said at age 82. I was so shocked how he knew that my Dad was 82 when he died. He said it just came to his mind and that the spirit works in mysterious ways. I gave him a hug and told him that I’ll pray for his  beautiful and sweet wife.

I know I will be seeing Raul by himself every church time, and I pray that I will see him for a very long time. I can’t help but think again about the bitter reality of growing old, death, dying, and being left alone. And for us who are left behind, we have to live and keep going.

I also remember my Tatay (Dad) and Mommy who were together for 53 years. This January 2017 is supposed to be their 55th Anniversary. Here is a photo of them taken by my sister that year  before he passed away. One of the most beautiful and meaningful photos I keep.

tay-and-mommy

 

 

 

Loving Each Moment

One of the perks of being a stay at home mom is just being there for them, when they’re not feeling well or when they’re just chilling out.

Sometimes I complain about the stress of raising kids especially when they fight a lot or when they’re being difficult.

I just say that. I know the the time will come when they will no longer need me and I will miss every moment they were little.

I will have all these memories when they were growing up.

It is a nice cold morning today.

tennieanddrei

 

My Church

WORDS IN THE LIGHT

My church has no wall
my church has no roof,
birds of freedom fly through,
so many stars shine inside,

my church has neither doors
nor stained glass windows,
it is the Lifeblood of Spring,
the golden paintings of Fall.

As simple as a mountain flower,
as strong as a mother,
my church is wider than the sky,
and higher than cathedrals,

for it is the Good in everyone,
the never-ending breath of Life,
the Faith in Love,
my church is Love itself.

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Not All People Are Nice

As a Mom, I wish to shield my children from the negativity of this world. However, I know that this is not possible!

So I change my strategy. As I guide them, I would  talk to them about some bitter realities of life. Of course, I try to soften it. I want them to be prepared. To be ready. I wish to equip them with skills that will help them survive, succeed, and live a happy life.

Relationships enormously affect us. I tell my kids, when people are born, they are nice. We are all like angels. But as we all go through our lives, a lot of factors come in (environment, family, health etc.) and they affect/shape the person. As I explain this to my 8-year-old, he quickly said, “Yes Mommy but each person can choose if they want to be good or bad.”

The fact is NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE NICE. That is another sad reality of life.

Some people may not be nice to your face at all, and some people can even stab you at the back.

I tell my kids, DO NOT LET OTHERS’ COMMENTS DEFINE OR AFFECT YOU.

Only focus on the people and things that will make you better and happy. Stay away from the negative people/things that pull you down.  THERE IS NO PLEASING EVERYBODY. At times you are already doing everything that you can with all good intentions. And people can still say hurtful things about you (at your face or on your back).

As long as you know that YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN AT THE MOMENT and YOU THINK A MILLION TIMES ABOUT YOUR DECISION OR CHOICE before you act on it, then YOU SHOULD HAVE NO REGRETS and HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. You’ll see.

PRAY A LOT too and always ASK FOR WISDOM AND STRENGTH. There is definitely a God who sees through our hearts.

It  can be a cruel world, full of struggles and challenges as it is also filled with so many beautiful things.

It is a blessing to live, and we must have the right perspective in order to enjoy this gift!

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