When I started blogging, my mind was filled with thoughts, filled with words. My heart felt a lot of things. I could not wait to write them down each day. Writing about my thoughts and feelings helped me resolve some issues I had in me. It taught me a little about forgiveness, about imperfections, humanity, about love. It also helped me discover my passions. It is still helping me get to know myself more and the life around me.
I just noticed one thing and maybe it happens to other people too. When my father went to heaven, it suddenly felt like there is nothing more I can write about. No inspiring stories or reflections in my head. I was not sure how I was feeling. For a long time I just went on with the flow. It has been a year now. I don’t feel the same. However, I find delight in interviewing people who inspire me. Maybe this is a way to get me inspired again and get me back on track.
For now, I will keep looking for that inspiration.
A very good friend of mine came to visit me last weekend. He said he has been reading my blogs. BUT he just wishes something else from my posts. I did not really get what he meant, but I know he meant well. I only got the sense that for him, sometimes, my focus is vague. I love constructive criticism. And to be honest, I never really thought of technicalities. I guess it is getting clearer to me. I am not really writing for someone else… to please people. I am not also considering monetary factor as of now (but if luck will come for reasons I do not know how, I would gladly welcome it). My point is, I am expressing myself. I am letting my thoughts and feelings out. Just like how I did when I was writing in my diary when I was growing up. Each post is a reflection of what is happening in me, inside my head and my heart, a reflection of my journey. It may be pretty to some but lacking sense to somebody else. There is no right or wrong. It does not really matter. I am expressing myself and sharing it to the world and to the Universe. Who knows it can lift spirit of someone who has a similar journey as mine. I know you understand what I mean. I am sure some of you are writing for the same reasons.