Grieve

Every night I stay up an hour or two

Just thinking about you …

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Since I got back home, I usually feel sad, stressed out, and my temper short. I do my very best just to be a good mother although there are a lot of times my patience is being challenged.. Mind you, I generally feel happy and glad that I am back to personally take care of my family. My mother in law is still here until the end of this month as well as my mom. Maybe when things get back to normal, meaning my own established routine, and it will just be us home, slowly I will be able to have more time alone, hopefully more time to think and heal. School day starts soon and I am sure things will get back on track.

If nowadays I feel down, I know very soon I will again be the happiest.

I still count my blessings. All my friends who care, my family, my brother and sisters… And do not forget, the beer and the wine! 😉

Ordinary Day

I wish I can talk about something else just like before. Seeing beauty in simple things, so much positivity striving to live a more meaningful life. 

Honestly I am not sure what I feel at present. Definitely it is not vibrant and lovely.  There are days it feels just so ordinary. I go on with my routine taking care of my family and our home. Alongside with it, there are minor distractions. At least I try to convince my mind that it is just minor and does not deserve my energy… But yes, life goes on. It will never pause, never stop even if you lose something or someone. I am living the reality of life. Trying to just move along, going with the flow. Ignoring what is inside, maybe a turmoil, some sadness and darkness. 

The other day I just burst into tears. I usually do not cry. And if I do, it is just for a while. A memory suddenly came to me. I remember maybe it was last Fathers Day, when I was on the phone with my Dad. I just told him I am planning to visit him next year and I could not figure out yet the schedule. I had to wait for my son’s school calendar and work out my visit. I remember he said, “Okay, I’ll be here…” 

Blog Posts Backed Up!

As what YOU, my fellow bloggers suggested, I did a copy and paste of my blog posts to Word document all in 200 pages already. That was the output of my blogging for 6 months now and I am loving it!

Thank you!

The morning looked gloomy

I still found it pretty

And my eyes feel heavy

It feels like rainy

While the afternoon is sunny