Since I got back home, I usually feel sad, stressed out, and my temper short. I do my very best just to be a good mother although there are a lot of times my patience is being challenged.. Mind you, I generally feel happy and glad that I am back to personally take care of my family. My mother in law is still here until the end of this month as well as my mom. Maybe when things get back to normal, meaning my own established routine, and it will just be us home, slowly I will be able to have more time alone, hopefully more time to think and heal. School day starts soon and I am sure things will get back on track.

If nowadays I feel down, I know very soon I will again be the happiest.

I still count my blessings. All my friends who care, my family, my brother and sisters… And do not forget, the beer and the wine! đŸ˜‰

Ordinary Day

I wish I can talk about something else just like before. Seeing beauty in simple things, so much positivity striving to live a more meaningful life. 

Honestly I am not sure what I feel at present. Definitely it is not vibrant and lovely.  There are days it feels just so ordinary. I go on with my routine taking care of my family and our home. Alongside with it, there are minor distractions. At least I try to convince my mind that it is just minor and does not deserve my energy… But yes, life goes on. It will never pause, never stop even if you lose something or someone. I am living the reality of life. Trying to just move along, going with the flow. Ignoring what is inside, maybe a turmoil, some sadness and darkness. 

The other day I just burst into tears. I usually do not cry. And if I do, it is just for a while. A memory suddenly came to me. I remember maybe it was last Fathers Day, when I was on the phone with my Dad. I just told him I am planning to visit him next year and I could not figure out yet the schedule. I had to wait for my son’s school calendar and work out my visit. I remember he said, “Okay, I’ll be here…” 

Hold Your Tongue

Frustrating. Disgusting.

Pardon my tongue

For this is not the usual inspiring words I utter

Anger or dislike is another emotion we deal with as we are alive

I acknowledge it as happiness, love, and sadness.

Just one piece I would like to say

One can not live in peace with meddling tongues

Why can not people just mind their own business?

Or be a peacemaker instead?

There can never be peace

When there are people who think themselves as better than others

More righteous, who knows better, who knows it all.

Shame on you! You who never sinned and never quarrelled!

Who is so pure and true.

So easy to make judgments, gossips,

Think and speak ill of others?

Taking sides without hearing the other

Do you think heaven is at your side?

Karma or God’s judgment will be realized soon!

I hold my cursing and ill speaking tongue for I am not like you

There could have been a meek heart if there was an effort to ask,  listen and understand

I guess it is not right to expect others to think and behave like you do

Different does not mean you are better

May you find peace in each of your day

People who truly love and care

Aspire to bridge and not divide

Listens and desires not to foster anger

May you find peace in your days

You who never sinned, who never quarelled!