Love Stories

One sunny morning, I was hanging out with my kids in the pool.  Then a very interesting conversation happened. I do not recall how we ended up talking about it but my son was asking about my love stories.  I then recalled the feelings of falling in love, of being in love, as well as the tears and the heartaches that go with it.

There’s a relationship that you outgrow. You think you would want to spend the rest of your life with that special someone but as you mature, you will realize that you just don’t. Maybe it is due to differences in values, priorities, and/or timing.

Sometimes you will meet someone you finally like but you will end up friend zoned. I remember this guy who would always come visit me at work, hung out with me, and called me even at night just to talk about other girls . And you realize after a while you were so stupid to listen to his crazy stories.

There are times when you meet someone and you thought you have something special. He would call you from overseas on a regular basis then one day would just disappear. You will figure out that he found someone else.

Sometimes you would think you have met your soulmate. But they don’t really stay for long.

There are unspoken feelings. Feelings you just keep to yourself. And the person would never ever know how you felt about him/her.

And there is a love meant for you.

And love never ends. It is beautiful. It is painful. It makes life meaningful.

 

 

 

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Mother & Son

Being a parent means having this very important responsibility of raising good people.  It is a lifetime mission. We take care of them, provide for all their needs (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), and guide them through life.

Being a parent is not always easy. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get frustrated. We worry. We get disappointed.  In every stage, we face different challenges from waking up late at night to change their diapers or disciplining them in their early childhood days. It can be a lot of work. I say,  having a child  is truly life changing. It is a blessing and at the same time a sacrifice, an act of great love.

What inspired me to write? Earlier, I got into a small fight with my 9-year-old. It might sound petty to others but it meant something to me.

He was so distracted with his gadgets that he would find it hard to pay attention and listen to what I’m saying. Usually I have to repeat A LOT OF TIMES what I have to say to him. And this can be exhausting. I always pray for patience and understanding. It has been a challenge for me nowadays because they are on summer break.  Everyday, I have to set  a time limit with regard to the use of the gadgets. My son and I usually argue about this.  I manage their activities, making sure they read, write, draw, and do something else besides video gaming. I have to take them out of the house too for a swim or stroll at the park.

I lost my temper. I raised my voice. I had to be stern. What irritated me most was the talking back. He was reasoning out when clearly he was wrong. And it broke my heart to see him so mad at me. I sent him to his room for a time out. No TV. No gadgets. I said he needed to be alone and be quiet.

I was worried. I was thinking maybe he would grow up hating me because I would always discipline him. Then I felt sad. I was sorry for saying some things that could have hurt his feelings. I felt bad. I know I am not a perfect person. Definitely not a perfect mom.

I thought of writing him a letter. Just to assure him that I love him. And that whatever we are doing is for his own good. I was about to write him a note when he came out of his room and went to me. He handed me a paper. And saw this …

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It melted my heart. I just hugged him for a very long time. I cried quietly. I was relieved. Maybe I am doing the right thing. I did not have to remind him that I love him. He knows. We talked about what happened and the things he learned from it.

He told me to keep this paper and I said I will.

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty Tips

I stare at my face in the mirror.

So imperfect.

Wondering about getting old,

Minimize the lines and the signs.

Nobody can fight nature.

Perfect faces eventually will be wrinkled.

Even the most beautiful woman in the world will be old.

Everyone will look different as we reach that stage.

Let’s not  be too attached,

To obsessed  with physical beauty.

Soon it will fade away.

Do not be consumed by the standards of the world.

Beauty is how you feel inside.

Growing in wisdom,

Gratitude, Happiness, and Love.

Those essential things invisible to the eyes.

Those things inside that last forever.

Each person is truly beautiful.

 

On Its Second Year

 

It is true what they say. In time you will no longer feel much pain. You will keep moving. You’ll finally get used to the absence.

As much as I love him,  I try not to dwell on the thought that we lost him. I try to see it in a different perspective. He lives in us, we carry him in our hearts.

I still cry but not as much as I did. When he crosses my mind I feel sad but I feel much stronger now.

Although there are moments when I can’t help the tears especially when things around me bring vivid memories of him.

Like last night my kids were playing with their Dad. My little girl was walking on his back and saying that she’s giving him a massage. I remembered during our younger days when we would do the same. Tears fell from my eyes.

Just a while ago when we were watching one of our favorite comedy shows, if featured the 1980 something show called Knight Rider. I remembered the talking black car called KITT, that drove super fast, was bulletproof, fireproof, and helped Michael fought injustices in the world. It brought up some childhood memories. My siblings and I were fond of the super powered car that we named our family car, Kit. If I remember it right, our father even put up a moving light in front of our car pretending that we’re really driving Kit! Something like this:

kitt

Every morning, to wake up my kids, I put up the curtain and let the sunlight into our bedroom. I talk to them or sing to them just the way our old man did.

I know there will be more reminders along the way. One clear proof that our love ones continue to live…

 

 

Loving Each Moment

One of the perks of being a stay at home mom is just being there for them, when they’re not feeling well or when they’re just chilling out.

Sometimes I complain about the stress of raising kids especially when they fight a lot or when they’re being difficult.

I just say that. I know the the time will come when they will no longer need me and I will miss every moment they were little.

I will have all these memories when they were growing up.

It is a nice cold morning today.

tennieanddrei

 

When You Have So Many Things To Do

There are so many things that I would like to do.

But there is NOT MUCH TIME.

I realize everyday that I can not do EVERYTHING.

Time is short. Time flies by so fast.

So I will just do what I can. And I remind myself not to be too stressed out.

But try to enjoy each moment. I am alive. I am with my loved ones. I am here NOW.

Breathe in, breathe out.  Just do what I can for today. There is still tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will just do what I can.

I am no super woman.

There is no perfect life.

I pray that God will always give me His wisdom.

To always have the right perspective  in life.

To be appreciative of each blessing.

Be happy with the little things.

As I write this post, I just heard raindrops. It’s the first rain after Summer. It brought smile to my heart (and lips).

I will never be perfect. I will still get frustrated. Moody. Mad. Sometimes bad.

But I will always try to be GOOD. To be HAPPY.

 

 

Plain Day

When I started blogging, my mind was filled with thoughts, filled with words. My heart felt a lot of things. I could not wait to write them down each day. Writing about my thoughts and feelings helped me resolve some issues I had in me. It taught me a little about forgiveness, about imperfections, humanity, about love. It also helped me discover my passions. It is still helping me get to know myself more and the life around me.

I just noticed one thing and maybe it happens to other people too. When my father went to heaven, it suddenly felt like there is nothing more I can write about. No inspiring stories or reflections in my head. I was not sure how I was feeling. For a long time I just went on with the flow. It has been a year now. I don’t feel the same. However, I find delight in interviewing people who inspire me. Maybe this is a way to get me inspired again and get me back on track.

For now, I will keep looking for that inspiration.