Love Stories

One sunny morning, I was hanging out with my kids in the pool.  Then a very interesting conversation happened. I do not recall how we ended up talking about it but my son was asking about my love stories.  I then recalled the feelings of falling in love, of being in love, as well as the tears and the heartaches that go with it.

There’s a relationship that you outgrow. You think you would want to spend the rest of your life with that special someone but as you mature, you will realize that you just don’t. Maybe it is due to differences in values, priorities, and/or timing.

Sometimes you will meet someone you finally like but you will end up friend zoned. I remember this guy who would always come visit me at work, hung out with me, and called me even at night just to talk about other girls . And you realize after a while you were so stupid to listen to his crazy stories.

There are times when you meet someone and you thought you have something special. He would call you from overseas on a regular basis then one day would just disappear. You will figure out that he found someone else.

Sometimes you would think you have met your soulmate. But they don’t really stay for long.

There are unspoken feelings. Feelings you just keep to yourself. And the person would never ever know how you felt about him/her.

And there is a love meant for you.

And love never ends. It is beautiful. It is painful. It makes life meaningful.

 

 

 

Mother & Son

Being a parent means having this very important responsibility of raising good people.  It is a lifetime mission. We take care of them, provide for all their needs (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), and guide them through life.

Being a parent is not always easy. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get frustrated. We worry. We get disappointed.  In every stage, we face different challenges from waking up late at night to change their diapers or disciplining them in their early childhood days. It can be a lot of work. I say,  having a child  is truly life changing. It is a blessing and at the same time a sacrifice, an act of great love.

What inspired me to write? Earlier, I got into a small fight with my 9-year-old. It might sound petty to others but it meant something to me.

He was so distracted with his gadgets that he would find it hard to pay attention and listen to what I’m saying. Usually I have to repeat A LOT OF TIMES what I have to say to him. And this can be exhausting. I always pray for patience and understanding. It has been a challenge for me nowadays because they are on summer break.  Everyday, I have to set  a time limit with regard to the use of the gadgets. My son and I usually argue about this.  I manage their activities, making sure they read, write, draw, and do something else besides video gaming. I have to take them out of the house too for a swim or stroll at the park.

I lost my temper. I raised my voice. I had to be stern. What irritated me most was the talking back. He was reasoning out when clearly he was wrong. And it broke my heart to see him so mad at me. I sent him to his room for a time out. No TV. No gadgets. I said he needed to be alone and be quiet.

I was worried. I was thinking maybe he would grow up hating me because I would always discipline him. Then I felt sad. I was sorry for saying some things that could have hurt his feelings. I felt bad. I know I am not a perfect person. Definitely not a perfect mom.

I thought of writing him a letter. Just to assure him that I love him. And that whatever we are doing is for his own good. I was about to write him a note when he came out of his room and went to me. He handed me a paper. And saw this …

It melted my heart. I just hugged him for a very long time. I cried quietly. I was relieved. Maybe I am doing the right thing. I did not have to remind him that I love him. He knows. We talked about what happened and the things he learned from it.

He told me to keep this paper and I said I will.

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty Tips

I stare at my face in the mirror.

So imperfect.

Wondering about getting old,

Minimize the lines and the signs.

Nobody can fight nature.

Perfect faces eventually will be wrinkled.

Even the most beautiful woman in the world will be old.

Everyone will look different as we reach that stage.

Let’s not  be too attached,

To obsessed  with physical beauty.

Soon it will fade away.

Do not be consumed by the standards of the world.

Beauty is how you feel inside.

Growing in wisdom,

Gratitude, Happiness, and Love.

Those essential things invisible to the eyes.

Those things inside that last forever.

Each person is truly beautiful.

 

On Its Second Year

 

It is true what they say. In time you will no longer feel much pain. You will keep moving. You’ll finally get used to the absence.

As much as I love him,  I try not to dwell on the thought that we lost him. I try to see it in a different perspective. He lives in us, we carry him in our hearts.

I still cry but not as much as I did. When he crosses my mind I feel sad but I feel much stronger now.

Although there are moments when I can’t help the tears especially when things around me bring vivid memories of him.

Like last night my kids were playing with their Dad. My little girl was walking on his back and saying that she’s giving him a massage. I remembered during our younger days when we would do the same. Tears fell from my eyes.

Just a while ago when we were watching one of our favorite comedy shows, if featured the 1980 something show called Knight Rider. I remembered the talking black car called KITT, that drove super fast, was bulletproof, fireproof, and helped Michael fought injustices in the world. It brought up some childhood memories. My siblings and I were fond of the super powered car that we named our family car, Kit. If I remember it right, our father even put up a moving light in front of our car pretending that we’re really driving Kit! Something like this:

Every morning, to wake up my kids, I put up the curtain and let the sunlight into our bedroom. I talk to them or sing to them just the way our old man did.

I know there will be more reminders along the way. One clear proof that our love ones continue to live…

 

 

Loving Each Moment

One of the perks of being a stay at home mom is just being there for them, when they’re not feeling well or when they’re just chilling out.

Sometimes I complain about the stress of raising kids especially when they fight a lot or when they’re being difficult.

I just say that. I know the the time will come when they will no longer need me and I will miss every moment they were little.

I will have all these memories when they were growing up.

It is a nice cold morning today.

 

When You Have So Many Things To Do

There are so many things that I would like to do.

But there is NOT MUCH TIME.

I realize everyday that I can not do EVERYTHING.

Time is short. Time flies by so fast.

So I will just do what I can. And I remind myself not to be too stressed out.

But try to enjoy each moment. I am alive. I am with my loved ones. I am here NOW.

Breathe in, breathe out.  Just do what I can for today. There is still tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will just do what I can.

I am no super woman.

There is no perfect life.

I pray that God will always give me His wisdom.

To always have the right perspective  in life.

To be appreciative of each blessing.

Be happy with the little things.

As I write this post, I just heard raindrops. It’s the first rain after Summer. It brought smile to my heart (and lips).

I will never be perfect. I will still get frustrated. Moody. Mad. Sometimes bad.

But I will always try to be GOOD. To be HAPPY.

 

 

Plain Day

When I started blogging, my mind was filled with thoughts, filled with words. My heart felt a lot of things. I could not wait to write them down each day. Writing about my thoughts and feelings helped me resolve some issues I had in me. It taught me a little about forgiveness, about imperfections, humanity, about love. It also helped me discover my passions. It is still helping me get to know myself more and the life around me.

I just noticed one thing and maybe it happens to other people too. When my father went to heaven, it suddenly felt like there is nothing more I can write about. No inspiring stories or reflections in my head. I was not sure how I was feeling. For a long time I just went on with the flow. It has been a year now. I don’t feel the same. However, I find delight in interviewing people who inspire me. Maybe this is a way to get me inspired again and get me back on track.

For now, I will keep looking for that inspiration.

Words from Daphne Oseña-Paez

I feature my favorite people here in my blog site. They inspire me in so many different ways. The next person I will be presenting is someone I admire not just for her beauty and style, but also for her brain, talent, and confidence. Her works reflect my hobby and interests like blogging, travel, home, fashion jewelry, and inspiring stories about women and motherhood. I am very blessed that she responded to some of my questions. She even gave me some advice for my blog! I remember first seeing her from the show, “F” which she co-hosted with Angel Aquino and Cher Calvin! Meet the lovely and very smart, Daphne Oseña-Paez!

“Daphne Oseña-Paez is a TV host, producer, and businesswoman from Manila.  She is known for her production and hosting of television programs  Urban Zone, Proudly Filipina, and F. She is the first Filipina ever appointed Special Advocate for Children by UNICEF Philippines.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daphne_Ose%C3%B1a-Paez)

“In May 2011 she founded Auction for Action: A UNICEF Fundraising Online Auction to benefit children’s programs in the Philippines and worldwide. It was the first online auction for UNICEF Philippines. It features work from noted local artists and designers in the hope of raising money that would benefit programs on maternal health and education in the Philippines’ poorer areas.”   She was also featured in Vogue in 2011 (http://www.vogue.it/en/people-are-talking-about/vogue-features/2011/12/daphne-osena-paez#ad-image145665)

Here are some answers straight from Daphne.

What were you doing before your TV appearances?

Urban planning

What course did you take in College and where? Did you really dream of hosting and being a public figure?

University of Toronto. Bachelor of Arts, specialist in Fine Art History, minor in Urban Studies. No dreams of TV work or public life. I was working as an urban planner, managing Canadian-funded programs in developing countries. Everything else was a happy accident.

With all the shows, TV hosting that you made what was your most favorite and why? Urban Zone – its my own show/creation. I didn’t just host it. I was producer, writer. It was a successful attempt at a late night lifestyle show. It was very influential.

What was the hardest challenge you have encounter? – life is full of challenges. In my darkest hour I turn to prayer. I’m never alone. I put full trust in the Lord. (As for sharing actual challenge, it’s too personal)

What is it you fear the most? – only God knows.

Do you consider yourself a hands on mom? How do you balance your career and family? — I don’t like the term “hands on mom” I don’t think it should exist. Because whether you are working or not, you are a mother just the same.

What is the most important thing you want your children to learn? What is it that you want to impart to them? – that they are loved by us no matter what. That they find joy in what it is they choose to do.

You are beauty and brains! In terms of beauty and appearance, are you high maintenance? How do you take care of your looks? What is beauty for you? Beauty tips you can share? – Be kind to your skin and body. Rest a lot. Don’t expose yourself to the sun too much. See a derma every month for cleaning. I go to Belo for facial and power peel every month.

What are your hobbies? – learning more dishes. I just learned how to cook. 

For more information and update of her works, you can visit her website  http://daphne.ph/.

It was really my pleasure to have an exchange of words with this super talented and very nice lady!

 

Catching Up With Cindy Kurleto

Thanks to writing. I started to see through things clearly. I am able to look deep inside and know myself a little bit more. I have become aware of my existence, of the life around me, of living, of being human, and even of my greatest fear, death.

One of the many things I have come to realize is that my life is too short to be mad, sad, or miserable. I have to overcome these emotions as they exist. I have to find out an outlet, my passion, and do things that make me happy. I have learned that playing the flute and blogging are one my favorite things at this stage of my life!

Moreover, I also realized that it is important to surround myself with people and things that will make me grow, that will inspire me, and make me happy. People and things that give out positive vibes and make us realize more the kindness and beauty of life. We can not always choose 100% of the time but we can still do something.

Even in my social media account (Instagram), I only choose to follow people who inspire me. There are indeed a lot of great people around the globe, and I wish I have all the time to write about them.  These inspirations crossing my path are part of my journey. Thus, I recognize and appreciate them through writing.

For instance, I wrote about the flutist who inspires me to do better, Bevani. Please read about her and check her Youtube Channel (Bevani Flute). Now, it is my pleasure to feature this wonderful lady. I never knew her personally but when I was younger I saw her from TV commercials in the Philippines.She was a VJ, model, actress. She has one of the most beautiful faces in Philippine Television. Meet Cynthia or better known as Cindy Kurleto! I do not remember how I found her in Instagram but when I saw her, I left a comment on her post about how glad I was to see her. She responded and she was very nice to everyone. We found out that we have the same birthdays too (and year)! What struck me was seeing how she has found love and happiness in her private life now. She has left the world of show business to fulfill her destiny to be where she is right now, a loving wife and mother. So let’s catch up with Cindy! 

“Hi Khristine! First off let me thank you for even considering to feature me on your blog, an old “has been” like me, flatters me beyond believe, thanks! And kudos to you for doing what makes you happy by writing for your own blog. So let’s dive right into it, shall we?”How long did you do modelling/acting in the Philippines?

My modelling career actually started in Bangkok where I did a few TV commercials, quite funny ones, really, for shampoo and facial care etc. It was afterwards that I got work in Manila, first as a model, then TV host and VJ, and finally as an actress. All in all I stayed for a decade.

When and why did you leave Manila?

I left Manila, which partly broke my heart, in December 2007, to ironically follow my heart. I had found the person I never wanted to be without and he asked me to join him in his next chapter of life, which brought us to Peru, where we stayed for 8 years and also started our own little family.

Do you miss being a public figure? If yes, what are the things you miss about it?

I don’t miss being a public figure because it comes with its own golden cage, as you can surely imagine. When you’re a public figure you are confronted with thousands of opinions, which all mean well, but don’t have anything to do with the real you. It’s a lot of responsibility and also involves disappointment, because how does the old saying go? You can not please everyone.

Do you think of going back to show business?

I miss having a creative job, where you get to meet incredibly talented people in front of and behind the camera. Where each workday is different to the last. And of course it can also be quite glamorous at times, I’d be lying if I’d say I don’t miss that, as well. But would I ever go back to showbiz? Probably in a heartbeat, but rather behind the camera, maybe? 🙂 to be honest with you, I don’t know. One can’t want showbiz, it’s gotta want you.

You have been to many places now in your life. Will you share what countries/which places have you lived in?

Well I was born in Vienna, Austria which is a small land locked country in the heart of Europe. Many people visit surrounding countries like Prague and Switzerland, which are amazingly beautiful but I strongly urge you to give Vienna a chance, it won’t disappoint, I promise. As you follow me on instagram, let me invite you to take a look at some of the pics I post of Vienna.. it is a truly beautiful city.
And as I mentioned above, I have lived in Manila, Philippines and in Lima, Peru.

Because of my father’s health condition we have decided to move back to Vienna and have arrived here only a few months ago, in fact our container with all our stuff is scheduled to arrive in two weeks time (yay)

What place/country do you miss most?

I used to always miss my hometown, but since I’ve moved back now, I guess I miss the Philippines the most. The smell and sights, the people and the food. Even the heat.

What is your most favorite place?

My favourite place used to be Boracay but since it’s practically overrun with tourists and locals alike, and way too far away for me now- I’d have to say my favourite place is the caribbean island Barbados, where my partners father is from and still has family. We try to visit often. Another beautiful beach I like to visit is in Tulum, México. If you ever travel there go eat at the restaurant Hartwood!

Where is your home now? How is it living there?

My home will always be where the heart is that I love and that loves me back.
Together we have moved to Vienna now, where I’m from but have not lived for 18 years. I am as much a foreigner as I am a native, which makes for an interesting experience, to say the least. I love Vienna for its culture, its high standard of living and for the beautiful old architecture.

When I called Peru my home I especially loved it for its fresh produce and it’s love for good food. Many talented chefs come from Peru and I was lucky enough to take part in a few cooking classes.

You are a family woman now. How long have you been married? How many kids do you have now?

Shockingly- we have never married. I guess we’ve never lived anywhere close enough to family to consider a celebration. We have been a couple for almost 12 years now and have two beautiful daughters together. My partner is my best friend, the one person I never get tired speaking to, I crave his opinion and love making him proud. In fact I read this interview and my answers to him, if it sounds okay to his ears- it’s good to go.

Do you work or are you a full-time mom? What keeps Cindy busy everyday?

I am a full-time mom as my second daughter was just born 3 weeks ago. I gave birth in water (at a clinic) without any pain medication- which makes me incredibly proud! (but don’t think I had it planned that way, I would have gladly accepted something to ease the pain but was too late for that). Being a mother, going through all these changes and the process of it all is just amazing. I salute all mothers. Really from the depth of my heart.

My day looks very much like any new mothers day. Feed the baby, burp the baby, change diapers and put the baby to sleep and repeat.

How do you differentiate the public life and the private life now?

Let me admit right here that I hardly ever talk about my life in the public eye anymore. This took quite some adjustment since it covered a long period of my young adult life and has shaped me immensely. The thing is, people don’t like to hear “oh you know, when I was an actress,…” stuff like that makes other people secretly dislike you. For real. So I live my private life like everyone else, and totally disregard my former life in the public. Except for when I can sense that someone is genuinely interested. Then I delve in fun memories.

What do you enjoy most in your private life?

I am happy that I was able to build a private life. Coming back from showbiz is not an easy feat. Taking pleasure in simple things is the bigger picture, really. It’s the way forward. Understanding that giving my family happy memories to look back on is the real goal, not how many clothes, shoes, followers or how much fan mail I have.

We usually have plans/goals for ourselves. What do you have for yourself?

I just want to be healthy, so I can stay around with as much energy as ever, to do things with my kids. Go hiking, travel to the world’s big cities, stay up late to help them with homework, be there when they have their first child. I lost my mother at 20 and regret not having her by my side at this time in my life.

What is your personal philosophy at the moment?

This is no secret but it means nothing to those who have not experienced it for themselves, so believe me when I say:

To help others is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Thanks Cindy for taking the time to answer my questions. I wish you more love and happiness in your life. Keep shining. You are a reflection of beauty and an inspiration to women who value taking care of the family.

No problem, Tin. Thank you for asking such deep and inspirational questions.

“I’m A Stay-At-Home Mom. Got A Problem With That?”

My hands are tired. As soon as I was done with my work, I had to sit down and write this down.

I just finished with my general cleaning in the kitchen. From the fridge to the freezer, to the tiles, cabinets and floor. Scrubbing. Mopping. Add all other details that has to do with the inside of each drawer and cabinet.

A lingering thought suddenly crossed my mind. I hold no grudge on these people but to be honest, their remarks annoys me very well.

This post is for all the stay-at-home moms like me. Sometimes we are called housewife, full-time mom, home-maker and others.

When I stopped going to work (the one where you get paid money), I had to focus on my growing son. Then followed by another baby girl. So I have been out of the work force for five years and 7 months now. When a cousin found out that I stopped working to take care of my child, he teasingly said “Wow, Doña.” In the Philippines, when somebody said that you’re a Doña, it means you’re rich and you’re living like a Queen. I do not remember how I responded to him but I can not forget that remark until now.

Another incident was when I brought my first grader to school while tagging my little girl along. This is a common sight in school. Moms with their  little ones  dropping off and picking up their older kids to school. Rain or Shine. Through the years,  I bonded with other full time moms too. And sometimes we would be in a group. As I and some other moms were approaching, a  friend who was a nurse jokingly told our other friend, “Eto na ang mga walang trabaho!” In English, it means “Here comes the ones who don’t work/jobless!” What did that suppose to mean? Of course it was petty. We did not have to confront her.

What are these remarks? I usually  hear people asking about what job I do since I had a Master’s Degree in Psychology. And when they hear that  I am a home-maker, one of the common reactions is “Wow, sarap!” In English something like “Wow, you’re lucky”.

I will be straightforward here. Yes, I am lucky because of one thing. I get to be hands on with my children. I see them grow each day. I personally take care of them. I am lucky because I now my kids feel secured and confident that I am there when they need me. A couple of instances my son was brought to the school clinic, in two minutes I am there to pick him up.  Child care is a lot of work especially when you have babies, toddlers, or preschoolers. It is more work if you have two or three or more kids. With the demand for constant attention, and responding to different needs, you have to have all the energy and patience in the world.

Home care is another thing.

Yes I will feel like a queen if I have a helper in the house. Or have someone else do all the daily chores inside and out of the house. Keeping the house clean and in order is an everyday thing. It actually feels like never ending. I even have a list of things to do for my home projects just like when I was going to a regular job where I got paid.

Yes I will feel like a Doña if I have a cook to take care of breakfast, lunch and dinner, a driver to bring my kids to school and to pick them up, a tutor to teach my children or a nanny to give them a bath and other things that they need.

I do not have all these help, and I do not get paid for every single thing that I do. I do not complain (sometimes to my husband), I feel happy that I am given this mission right now. It is all labor of love. Mind you, I do not just sit in the house and  have idle times. I do not sleep in the daytime because time flies and there are lots of things to do. But sometimes I need to recharge and have a break too. So I play the flute for a while or I write.

This is just a glimpse of what we do. This is the life of  a home-maker, a full-time mom, a house wife. I am not saying that we are better than moms who go out and work (the one you get paid money). They have different challenges too. I was once working out of the house.  I am just hoping that others will be enlightened that even if we are at home, WE ARE WORKING TOO!

Kudos to all women, to all mothers.

Now nap time is over for my girl. Have to wrap up my chores and time to get ready for school : )