Elegance by Paulo Coelho

Just wanted to share this wonderful reading with all of you!!!

All words by my favorite author, Paulo Coelho.

Elegance tends to be mistaken for superficiality and mere appearance.
Nothing could be further from the truth: some words are elegant, others can wound and destroy, but all are written with the same letters.

Flowers are elegant, even when hidden among the grasses in a meadow. The gazelle when it runs is elegant, even when it is fleeing from a lion.
Elegance is not an outer quality, but a part of the soul that is visible to others.

And even when passions run high, elegance does not allow the real ties binding two people to be broken.
Elegance lies not in the clothes we wear, but in the way we wear them.
It isn’t in the way we wield a sword, but in the dialogue we hold that could avoid a war.

Elegance is achieved when, having discarded all superfluous things, we discover simplicity and concentration; the simpler the pose, the better; the more sober, the more beautiful.

And what is simplicity? It is the coming together of the true values of life.
Snow is pretty because it has only one colour.
The sea is pretty because it appears to be a flat plane.
The desert is beautiful because it seems to consist only of sand and rocks.

The simplest things in life are the most extraordinary. Let them reveal themselves.

 
taken from THE MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN ACCRA

To The Man Who Raised My Man

Somebody crossed my mind today…

I was cuddling my baby to sleep then I suddenly thought about him. After recalling some memories with him, unexpectedly, tears fell from my eyes. I only got to be with him for almost 2 months, and it was an honor to meet my father-in-law.

I wonder how things could have been if he is still alive. I wish he is here with us instead. He was a very kindhearted man. I agree with what others say, my husband is so much like his dad, very good man, slow to anger, mellow, God loving, and a very loving husband and father. My father-in-law would talk about his children to me, with all his heart. I can see he was teary eyed whenever he talked about them. I could feel how much he loved them. I remember some things he told me: some stories, his feelings towards some people. I remember he thought me how to do the laundry or even how to properly cut the onions. You see, I was not really domesticated. Back home in the Philippines, there were people who helped us with housework (that’s just the culture or way of life there).

I moved to my boyfriend’s house (who is now my husband) on March 1, 2007 and my father-in-law died on April 23. I remember that day. At around 3:00pm he told me he was going out to refill some gallons of water from a store nearby. He did not usually go out during those hours. I even asked him why don’t he just wait for his son. I think he said it is good to take a walk or exercise and that he was going to use the back door. He used his push cart to carry the empty water bottles. My husband usually came home at 4:30pm and then we received a phone call. He had an accident on the road while he was crossing. So that’s the end. He never came back…

This is a very unforgettable experience to me. It was the first time I experienced being around somebody who is alive and happy… then gone forever. This reminded me once again of a song in my head. It makes me really sad when I hear this song. I guess this is how our lives are. We are here now then we can be gone any moment.

“Gone Too Soon”

Like A Comet
Blazing ‘Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too SoonLike A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too SoonShiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One NightLike The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

Gone Too Soon

When You Are Feeling DOWN

Not one of those good days?

Say to yourself:

“It is okay…it is part of being alive.”

We all go through it.

It is a cycle of life.

It is good to recognize and be aware of your feelings

We have to bear with it and keep moving.

We can not be perfectly happy each day.

But we do not have to be miserable.

We should be wise, know how to fight and deal with it.

Events and people are not simple. They are complex.

They can be complicated.

Life can be complicated.

Feeling anxious?

It is sickening inside. Something feels weird in your chest,

In your breathing.

It distracts your thoughts and focus

It pulls the spirit down.

And you know you have to fight it.

We carry on.

We continue to do the things we do

Although there is a feeling of heaviness inside.

We vent out to a loved one, to a friend or write about it.

We also pray to cast our burdens on the Lord

We train our minds to focus on something else

And learn how not to dwell on the ugly

I wish I can shield my children from feeling these unpleasant emotions.

I love them so much that it is heart breaking just to imagine them hurt, sad, worried, or anxious.

But what can a mother do?

We bring them up into this world and later on be subjected to pain, sadness, fear.

There is no avoiding them.

And this is the reality.

I have to  prepare them and equip them. So they will thrive and survive.

Learn how to go with the waves, keep their calm so they won’t drown.

Then keep swimming again.

Nothing in this life is permanent. Not even the unpleasant emotions or situations.

Later on, before you know it, you are already feeling happy.

Do not waste your time and life on people you think not worthy of attention

Do not over think (my personality, so I always get myself in trouble)!

This is the reality I just learned that we can not make everybody happy all the time

And We do not have to!

Do not waste your time and life dwelling on feelings that can ruin your day

You have to know what to do, what to think, what to believe in

Especially on times when you are feeling down…

Lessons To Live By

It is the start of 2015. It is a new beginning. I thought I was not going to write some new year’s resolution, but I guess I am. I can not think of a term, but I want to see it more as a new commitment, some lessons to remember to help me live a better life. A better life for me means less anxiety, less worry, less heartaches but more peaceful, more positive, and happier.

I came to realize that this year, I will try to incorporate into my system some important lessons to live by. I am writing this not because I am an expert on the field, but because I am trying to learn how to live life to the fullest. As I said, writing is a very powerful tool in introspection.

I intend to do/keep in mind the following:

1. BE HEALTHIER

I am not getting any younger, I decided to lose weight and be healthier. I will try to exercise at least 10 minutes a day. I will eat healthier (most of the time). I should not make “being busy”  or too tired taking care of the house and the kids as an excuse not to exercise. This morning I checked YouTube videos for exercises I can do at home. I loved this HIIT Cardio: 10 minutes (by momsintofitness).  Oh my, I was so out of shape. I was getting exhausted and my legs were hurting. I am committing myself to do it everyday.

2. UNDERSTAND SOME UNIVERSAL TRUTH OR LAWS OF NATURE (Being Present, Change, Pain)

The second important commitment I should make is more difficult to do. It takes a lot of internalization. I want to change the way I think. I want to change how I perceive life and living. I have to learn how to cope up. As the saying goes, change the way you think and the world around you changes. I believe if I achieve this understanding and it has become a part of me, then I can live life to its fullest. Finally,  begin to see the world as it really is.

My previous blogs talked about my fear, anxiety, hatred, death, living life, way to happiness, and the lessons I want my kids to learn. I also mentioned one of the reasons why I write is that I am on search for something. I came across this book and I realized that it somehow sums up or incorporates everything I wrote about in my other blogs. I deeply want to share this with others, hoping that  there is something good and useful to be found from this reading. All the quotes were lifted from the book Meditation for Beginners by Jack Kornfield.

2.1 MINDFULNESS

I will strive to train myself to be MINDFUL. I want to achieve a Quiet mind, open heart and steady spirit.  “Mindfulness helps train us to be more present and alive. The art of living… is neither careless drifting on the one hand nor fearful clinging to the past… the truth that is right where we are when we let go of fantasies and memories and come into the reality of the present.” This means being sensitive to each moment of our life. It means being more present and more awake, more appreciating of THE PRESENT. “The present moment is the only game in town and if we miss this moment it will be gone forever.” I should not waste my time worrying about the future, dreaming about the past or being enslaved by bad memories and emotions.  Now is important. I should learn to let go.

I mentioned from my old post (Way To Happiness) Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a dream. Today is a gift. So live TODAY, be present.

2.2 NOTHING IS PERMANENT BUT CHANGE

Law of nature: “Things are impermanent, that attachment causes pain. We need to learn how to flow with the changes, to see everything as a process of change, to relax with uncertainty. We need to learn how to let go, how to stay centered in the midst of change”.  I mentioned in my previous blog my fear of death. I can not imagine losing a loved one or the thought of dying. I tend to be attached to the people or to something I love (which I think is very natural). We have to understand that ” We do not actually own our bodies but rather we just inhabit them for a short time, and during that time they will change by themselves, regardless of what we want to happen.”

A few nights ago, my husband and I watched the movie, Boyhood. There was one scene that struck me. As the son, Mason,  prepares to leave his mother’s new apartment for college, Olivia (the mother) breaks down, saying she is disillusioned by how fast life has flown by, and claims there is nothing left in her life but her death.

“Nothing in our lives lasts or stays the same for very long. Everything is changing all the time.” As the book says, “Trying to hold onto ‘how it was’ will only create suffering and disappointment, because life is a river and everything changes… We create a huge amount of suffering if we are attached to things staying the same, we realize that relaxing and letting go is a wiser way to live…”

“When we realize everything passes away, not only the good things but the painful things as well.”  So when challenges or trial comes, just remember that it too shall pass. Let the storm rage on as the song in the movie Frozen says.

2.3 PAIN IS PART OF LIVING

“Gain and loss, praise and blame, pain and pleasure are part of the dance of life, given to each of us, born into our human body”. 
This reminds me to embrace not just the good but also the bad side of life, the unlikable people who caused you pain. They are still part of this world and there is nothing I can do to push them away. Why do I have to stress out on something or someone I can not prevent or change?

“The truth is that things change whether we want them to or not. Becoming attached to things as they are or pushing things away that we do not like does not stop them from changing. It only leads to further suffering.”

Lesson 4 and 5 are from my old post (Way To Happiness)

3. THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON

Every circumstance in our lives (both good and bad) are necessary for us to be where we are right now. There is a reason for every event, every encounter with people who walk on our path.

4. BE THE BEST THAT WE CAN BE WHEREVER WE ARE

Bloom where God planted you. You are special. You are blessed. Refrain from comparing yourself with others. You will either find yourself  superior or inferior.  In relation to this, I have also learned that we can not please everybody. If we do, we will only be stressed out. Do what you think is best for you and your family not what others think is best. In the end, it is you who goes through it not them!  You are special. You are blessed.

It looks a lot. We may get overwhelmed by these reminders. It can take a lot of work and discipline to change the way we think. But I believe it is worth a try!

Good luck to us! Life is short, we will only be here once, let us make the most out of it and live a happy life!

Way to Happiness

The following are collection of phrases I read somewhere. I usually just put together all these lessons in my head, and try to remember them by heart. Sharing to you some of my favorite credos:

Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a dream. Today is a gift. So live TODAY, be present.

I love this phrase because it guides me when my mind starts to wander off.

It is very nice to reminisce and appreciate your journey by looking back. I often recall some memories in the past from my childhood, teen years, when I started working, the family where I grew up as well as the dearest friends along the way. I can say life was  simpler then. Some make me smile, some make me cry. Definitely, looking back makes me understand more my present life.  On the other hand, there are times when I keep wondering what my life could have been if I chose a different path. Then I am left with questions, lots of questions of what could have been.  Then I go back to my credo. The past is history. I can never go back or change it. It is useless to over think and waste my time and energy  about things I can not change.

Every circumstance in our lives (both good and bad) are necessary for us to be where we are right now. There is a reason for every event, every encounter with people who walk on our path. 

People come and go in our journey, and some linger for a while. There is still a reason behind. As of now, we do not know why. Only God knows why (by the way, I love this song by Kid Rock. I remember my brother and his friends)! So just welcome the people in your life right now. These are people we love and cherish, and some we might dislike or hate.

It is good to have dreams and hopes. They keep us going. They inspire and motivate us. It surely helps us to have a happier life. And as we have an eye for the future, we should bear more importance on TODAY. If we keep looking back or forward, we might miss out the feeling and the beauty of today. Try to recognize and appreciate the people and things we have right now. We are blessed in so many ways. I believe that if we cultivate in ourselves this way of thinking, we can be happier and satisfied.

Bloom where God planted you. You are special. You are blessed. Refrain from comparing yourself with others. You will either find yourself  superior or inferior. You are special. You are blessed.

Have a beautiful day!