First Christmas Without Her

When we go to church every Sunday, I always notice a couple who I think are on their 80’s. Although they’re very old, I can definitely still see and feel their love for each other. They look very happy.

I remember in July 2016, they had to sit close to us because the church was packed. I could hear the old man singing so beautifully. Before leaving, the old man handed us a prayer pamphlet. It was a devotion to St. Joseph. The old lady had a very sweet smile.

Sometime in October 2016, the church recognized all the couples who celebrated their wedding anniversary. This couple was one of them. I heard they celebrated their 57 years together. So after the mass, I came up to them to congratulate them. I told them that they are an inspiration to young married couples like us. I saw the old lady’s face beaming and they proudly talked about their kids, grand kids, and great grand children. I gave them a hug and said bye.

In November 2016, I noticed that the old man was alone. For a few weeks, I wanted to come up to him to ask how he was but never got the chance. I had a feeling and I hope I was wrong.

Last night, my eyes were fixed on the old man. It is a week before Christmas and I decided to greet him a Merry Christmas in advance after the service. His name is Raul. It is the first Christmas without her after 57 years. He said he always sees her in spirit.

We talked for a while. I mentioned about my Dad who passed away last year. Somehow when I see Raul he reminds me of him. Same age. Both wearing their favorite beige/khaki jacket. After mentioning about my Dad, Raul said at age 82. I was so shocked how he knew that my Dad was 82 when he died. He said it just came to his mind and that the spirit works in mysterious ways. I gave him a hug and told him that I’ll pray for his  beautiful and sweet wife.

I know I will be seeing Raul by himself every church time, and I pray that I will see him for a very long time. I can’t help but think again about the bitter reality of growing old, death, dying, and being left alone. And for us who are left behind, we have to live and keep going.

I also remember my Tatay (Dad) and Mommy who were together for 53 years. This January 2017 is supposed to be their 55th Anniversary. Here is a photo of them taken by my sister that year  before he passed away. One of the most beautiful and meaningful photos I keep.

 

 

 

The Story Of Love

FRIENDSHIP

LOVE

COURTSHIP

MARRIAGE

LIFELONG COMMITMENT

A PROMISE TO GOD, TO EACH OTHER, AND EVERYONE AS WITNESS

Ups and downs

In sickness and in health

In the midst of a world full of choices and options

With brimming temptations of new and exciting things

With challenges too along the way.

Would you do your darn best to take care of what you have?

Or give in to a moment to shatter what is real?

RESPECT

CARE for the other as you care for yourself

Though physically there are two different beings,

Should be one journey, one life.

Love is powerful

AND THIS IS POSSIBLE…

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So  at the end of our days

We will have that somebody by our side

To remind us of that beautiful journey

And to kiss us goodbye

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And She Is Broken

She married him.

They were best friends. They were very much in love. They have been through a lot together. Adventures shared. Tears and laughter. He adores her and we see how he takes care of her.

They tried to have children. Failed twice, souls traumatized. The pain of losing a child is beyond imagination. God is still merciful, the third one made it at last. A beautiful and healthy angel is now in their midst. Now they are complete. They are a family. It is a perfect wonderful world!

It changed in a day. A cheating heart. Betrayal. It crushed her spirit. Numbness. She could not feel anything. Pain, too much pain. But she did not wail, cry, or lash out. Just very sad. Heart torn into pieces.

Giving it a second chance. Struggle everyday. Bitter reminders. Mixed emotions. It is a nightmare. Could not believe it just happened. What to do? Why would you throw something away quickly? People make mistakes. Do not throw everything away. She feels his remorse. He is hurting too but his tears can not take the pain away or undo the damage. Broken trust. She slowly feels the anger. But still longs for healing and forgiveness. She clings to the love they have shared. And chooses to believe in it.

How do you mend a broken heart? A broken spirit? In time. Will love save them? When does a heart finally forgive while the mind does not forget? How do you deal with each day? Reminding you of the mistake or the sin your loved one has caused you?

Then she cries:

“I hope one day soon, all these hate will go away and I can see you again.

I hope one day soon I can look at you again and not see all the reasons why I should hate you.

I hope and I pray that one day soon, I can finally look at you and only see all the reasons why I love you…”

Remember Your Marriage Vow

Our loved ones in life are one of the most importance sources of our happiness. Their love feed our souls. Our relationship with them gives more meaning to our lives. With them we feel safe. We are home. So imagine what it feels like if a loved is the person who hurt you, who betray you?  With this, I say that the greatest pain we can experience is a loved one causing our heartache.

“I take you to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” The priest will then say aloud “You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen.

It is unimaginable how can a spouse cheat on his/her partner in life? I know this condition has been in existence from a long time ago and everywhere in the world. I still feel this is not an excuse.  I do not understand why would you fall into this temptation. Why did you let yourself fall into it? Why did you play with fire? Why did you not step back and turn your back? Why did you not value your spouse and everything that you have shared from the beginning you fell in love? Why did you  not value your family, your child,  and the love/respect of everyone? Why did you hurt that person who you intended to grow old with and walk side by side in this journey? Why did you not keep your promises to God and to your spouse? Have you forgotten? Have you seen something new, something exciting? These new things will grow old too. Maybe you have forgotten…

Infidelity is hard to understand. Why it happens.  I would still love to believe that true love will last for eternity. I hope human beings are capable of doing that! If not, I am afraid I am starting to think less of them now. But I will not give in. I would still hope. It saddens me and gives me a heavy heart to know that someone very close to me is hurting. We have not spoken since she prefers to be alone. I said let her feel what she should feel. It is a process. Let her have all the time she needs. As long as she knows we are here. May God strengthen her. Give her wisdom so she will know what to do. Give her courage to stand by her decisions.

God, bless all the married couples. May You keep their love burning for each other. Like a little seed, please take care of them. Make them strong so they will grow and bloom, and stand for life. Let now storm bring them down.

Good Husbandry

He uses his clothes until its “last breath”.  I can not wait to use them as my cleaning clothes. Takes a long time for that shirt to retire. He has always been a wise spender.  Good husbandry.

I told him, “I want to buy you some new shorts for the summer.”

He replied (as I predicted), “No I have enough. I do not want to own a lot of material things. I want to be  minimalist.”

I was just struck by his words. I do not want to own a lot of material things. I know I married a special man. He is different. In a good way I guess. He is not too vain. His values just do not rely on material possessions.

Well, his birthday is coming up soon. I always have a hard time thinking of what to give this man who is never materialistic. Maybe a birthday card, a message of love, and just my love? : – )

My Perfect Guy

She held a piece of paper in her hand. It was a prayer about finding the perfect husband. As she closed her eyes, she solemnly said the prayer everyday. Sometimes more than once a day.  The prayer mentioned some good qualities of a good husband. She met some good men but she knew they were not the one. When he came, she knew right away. Was it the prayer? The universe conspired with her. She was blessed to meet the guy perfect for her, and she married him.

He has always been calm and gentle, very slow to anger (or rarely gets upset or mad). She tends to be temperamental.

He is always focused. Her minds wander a lot.

He is care free. She tends to be a worrier.

He has always been rational. She tends to be emotional.

He is reserved. She is more expressive.

He is not so domesticated. He does not mind if the bed is not made. She always makes sure the house is clean, organized, and beautiful. It bothers her if she sees a mess.

He likes outdoors especially gardening. She prefers indoors and cooking.

He is a certified bookworm. She reads depending on mood or interest.

He is into finance and sports magazines. She is not interested in them at all.

She loses things, he always finds them.

Maybe they have a point when they say opposites attract? But it is more of complementing each other.

Both of them are more introverts. They both enjoy families and friends around but love their privacy more.

They are more home buddies. They love staying home and playing with the children .

They love watching their favorite TV shows and movies after putting the kids to sleep while snacking.

Both of them see that their children, next to their marriage is their top priority.

TWO IMPERFECT PEOPLE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER….

(Dedicated to my husband who is celebrating his birthday soon in April. Also for our upcoming 8th Wedding Anniversary)

Maybe There Is Really A “Meant To Be?”

Being in a relationship is not just about feelings. That’s what I have learned from  books.  Emotions keep changing in life. I believe that in order for a relationship to last, there should be love and commitment. I have been married to my husband for seven years now, going to eight. And I always pray to God to take care of our relationship. It is a life long commitment and we intend to stay together for the rest of our lives. We all know that there can be trials along the way, and journeys are not perfect.  When we got married I received a simple frame with a prayer on it. I put it up in our living room beside our wedding photo. It says “Lord help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us… Dear Lord we put our marriage into your hands. Amen. ” So I try to remember how it all began and I can’t help but say “maybe there is really such a thing as meant to be?” My  husband and I knew each other all our lives. We were neighbors in our hometown. He lived just a few blocks from our home. We went to the same school in elementary. We were classmates from fourth to sixth grade. Both our families served in the same church. He was an altar boy and I was a member in one organization. We were friends, young people hanging out in church. High school came and he moved to all boys school. I moved to all girls’. We still saw each other in church. He started to send me love letters and signals that he liked me. I had a crush on him too but nothing serious. When we were in high school, he told me he loved me and I did not really believe him. He became cold and aloof. The love letters stopped and the affection as well. College came and we both went to different Universities. Sometimes we would still see each other in church. He studied Physical Therapy and I went with Psychology. I ended up getting my Master’s degree too.  We both got into relationships. He met a girl and would sometimes bring her to church. I believed we were also introduced to each other. He moved to another country. We sometimes saw each other online and would sometimes chat. Likewise, I had my first boyfriend. We had our own lives. In 2006, our paths just crossed again.  We were both single and things just happened. It’s like everything fell into place. The Universe conspired to help us find each other again!  We fell in love and the next year tied the knot! This was quite an adventure (to be written next time). It was not all bed of roses. There were great challenges too especially with the distance between us. When our paths crossed, we were living in our own perfect worlds. Then I had to make the hardest decision of my life, leaving family, friends and my blooming career. In the end, love conquered all…   Now we are together with our two beautiful children. As long as there is faith in each other, commitment to take care of the marriage and choose to save it on top everything or anyone, I am sure, we will make it another day, another year, and hopefully as long as we live!