Mother & Son

Being a parent means having this very important responsibility of raising good people.  It is a lifetime mission. We take care of them, provide for all their needs (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), and guide them through life.

Being a parent is not always easy. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get frustrated. We worry. We get disappointed.  In every stage, we face different challenges from waking up late at night to change their diapers or disciplining them in their early childhood days. It can be a lot of work. I say,  having a child  is truly life changing. It is a blessing and at the same time a sacrifice, an act of great love.

What inspired me to write? Earlier, I got into a small fight with my 9-year-old. It might sound petty to others but it meant something to me.

He was so distracted with his gadgets that he would find it hard to pay attention and listen to what I’m saying. Usually I have to repeat A LOT OF TIMES what I have to say to him. And this can be exhausting. I always pray for patience and understanding. It has been a challenge for me nowadays because they are on summer break.  Everyday, I have to set  a time limit with regard to the use of the gadgets. My son and I usually argue about this.  I manage their activities, making sure they read, write, draw, and do something else besides video gaming. I have to take them out of the house too for a swim or stroll at the park.

I lost my temper. I raised my voice. I had to be stern. What irritated me most was the talking back. He was reasoning out when clearly he was wrong. And it broke my heart to see him so mad at me. I sent him to his room for a time out. No TV. No gadgets. I said he needed to be alone and be quiet.

I was worried. I was thinking maybe he would grow up hating me because I would always discipline him. Then I felt sad. I was sorry for saying some things that could have hurt his feelings. I felt bad. I know I am not a perfect person. Definitely not a perfect mom.

I thought of writing him a letter. Just to assure him that I love him. And that whatever we are doing is for his own good. I was about to write him a note when he came out of his room and went to me. He handed me a paper. And saw this …

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It melted my heart. I just hugged him for a very long time. I cried quietly. I was relieved. Maybe I am doing the right thing. I did not have to remind him that I love him. He knows. We talked about what happened and the things he learned from it.

He told me to keep this paper and I said I will.

 

 

 

 

 

Loving Each Moment

One of the perks of being a stay at home mom is just being there for them, when they’re not feeling well or when they’re just chilling out.

Sometimes I complain about the stress of raising kids especially when they fight a lot or when they’re being difficult.

I just say that. I know the the time will come when they will no longer need me and I will miss every moment they were little.

I will have all these memories when they were growing up.

It is a nice cold morning today.

tennieanddrei

 

Not All People Are Nice

As a Mom, I wish to shield my children from the negativity of this world. However, I know that this is not possible!

So I change my strategy. As I guide them, I would  talk to them about some bitter realities of life. Of course, I try to soften it. I want them to be prepared. To be ready. I wish to equip them with skills that will help them survive, succeed, and live a happy life.

Relationships enormously affect us. I tell my kids, when people are born, they are nice. We are all like angels. But as we all go through our lives, a lot of factors come in (environment, family, health etc.) and they affect/shape the person. As I explain this to my 8-year-old, he quickly said, “Yes Mommy but each person can choose if they want to be good or bad.”

The fact is NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE NICE. That is another sad reality of life.

Some people may not be nice to your face at all, and some people can even stab you at the back.

I tell my kids, DO NOT LET OTHERS’ COMMENTS DEFINE OR AFFECT YOU.

Only focus on the people and things that will make you better and happy. Stay away from the negative people/things that pull you down.  THERE IS NO PLEASING EVERYBODY. At times you are already doing everything that you can with all good intentions. And people can still say hurtful things about you (at your face or on your back).

As long as you know that YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN AT THE MOMENT and YOU THINK A MILLION TIMES ABOUT YOUR DECISION OR CHOICE before you act on it, then YOU SHOULD HAVE NO REGRETS and HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. You’ll see.

PRAY A LOT too and always ASK FOR WISDOM AND STRENGTH. There is definitely a God who sees through our hearts.

It  can be a cruel world, full of struggles and challenges as it is also filled with so many beautiful things.

It is a blessing to live, and we must have the right perspective in order to enjoy this gift!

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Khristine Meets Christine!

christinej
Our family was in church hearing an ordinary Sunday mass. We were sitting in the cry room since we have two young kids. The mass was about to begin, when suddenly I noticed  a familiar face walked in. I believe she was with teenage daughter/s.  I could not remember where I met her.
The mass went on and during the Holy Communion, she passed us by . She even looked my way for a while.  Then  I realized that she looked like the TV personality back home in Manila but I was not so sure though.
After a few months, I was browsing people in Instagram. From one person, it led me to the photo of that familiar face. I figured it was Christine Jacob!  I sent her a message asking if she happened to be in our parish church, and she confirmed it! So I thought I’d ask her if I can feature her in my little blog site. She was very nice to say “Sure, anytime!”
Christine Sotto Jacob-Sandejas, also known as Christine Jacob, is a Filipina Olympian swimmer, actress, T.V. host, and newscaster. She was born in Guam and her family moved back to Manila. She joined the Southeast Asian Games in Singapore in 1983 when she was 16. The following year, she competed in the swimming competition in the Summer Olympics 1984.
When she was 23 years old she got offered a co-hosting job in a show called “Eat Bulaga.” More projects followed.  She stopped hosting in showbiz when she got pregnant with her first child. Now she has five children with her loving husband, Paco Sandejas. She has been a TV personality for around 26 years now.
I reviewed some stories about her and found a recent one posted by the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (http://www.cbcpnews.com/cbcpnews/?p=76086) last April 20, 2016.  The article talks about how Catholic faith is very important to Christine and her family  (an evident reason why I probably found her in church when she was visiting in LA).  In the article she mentioned the following was mentioned:
“Christine shared she and her husband go out of their way to instill in their children the fundamentals of the faith like teachings on the Mass, Confession, and the other Sacraments.”
“They also read them stories from the Bible to complement and reinforce what they learn at school.”
“They make sure the little Sandejases—all five of them—will grow up respectful, honest, and disciplined.”
“Values are very important for me,” exclaimed Christine.
I read another article written about her by her sister-in-law, Amanda Griffin. Christine shared here her typical day:
“I wake up at 6. Have my coffee, bring my 4 kids to school (Jaime 2 yrs old school just started in June) , Then ME time…I play tennis or yoga or run or workout…pick up the 4 yr old from school and have lunch with them. Then do errands (bank, grocery etc). Pick up the 3 older kids from school and bring them to various activities (ballet/ gymnastics/ soccer/ reading/ little gym/ cheer dancing/ violin guitar/ piano…etc (never ending activities..wait till summer ) Then come home and do homework, Dinner then Sleep by 8:30. And the cycle starts again……” (http://amandagriffinjacob.com/christine-jacob/August 1, 2011 Amanda Griffin – Jacob)
These are the reasons why I feature her in my blog. I truly admire her energy taking care of herself, her family, particularly being hands on with her five children. Based on my experience, I find it indeed challenging to  discipline children and mold them to be good people. So I am just truly glad that I got the chance to interview Christine and share some of her wisdom.
Let’s hear from Christine!
 
Where did you live in the US during your elementary years? How old were you when you came to live in Manila?
I grew up in Manila . I was born in Guam but after 6 months my family moved to Manila . I consider Manila as my home . I went to school at the Colegio San Agustin in Makati till high school .
 
You were an Olympian. When did you first learn how to swim?  Will you briefly describe your experience when you joined the Summer Olympics in 1984?
 Started competing (swimming ) at the age of 6. First international swim meet at 11 Junior Olympics held in Japan.  Then Southeast Asian age group , SEA GAmes , Asian Games , Olympics in 1984 in LA 😊  I truly pride myself in  being Philippine trained .
You have been a TV personality for around 26 years now.
I studied college in Ohio , Kenyon College . I continued to swim.
All 4 years . I graduated in 1989 BA in International Studies with China as my area of concentration. 
 After 1 year of working in Boston I decided to move back to Manila then doors started to open in the field of communication. I     started hosting Eat Bulaga in December 1990, then as a newscaster for PTV4 also the same year . 
    1990-1998 Co-hosted in Eat Bulaga 
    1998-2001 MTB (Magandang Tanghali Bayan ABS-CBN)
    Married in 1999.
    First child came in 2000
    5 kids 
    
I would host various shows while taking care of my family: Mobile Kusina, Here Comes the bride, Game Na, Full Time Mom
Currently I have a daily show on CNN Philippines called Real Talk .
How do you do it? How do you raise 5 kids? What is one important thing that every parent should remember? 
Values for children . Instilling values is getting to be more difficult with the access of social media , bring the whole world into your home . The kids are exposed to a different culture, the values have changed . That’s why the importance of family life. The importance of spending time with your kids , being there for them . Guiding them during the formation years.
I am aware about your typical day. I can relate to your activities.I can not imagine how you manage five children. I often complain and yet I only have two! I heard you do yoga, runs, swim? Balancing all these things alongside with work and family.
Where do you get the energy?! What is the secret? Do you have a regular regimen/work out? 
A few years ago I was much more active than I am now. Maybe age has caught up with me😱. I remember a time when I would run 10k before my 2 hour tennis practice etc.. I am a very competitive person and feel the need to train to get better. I am trying to ween myself from that and just take it easy and relax a bit more .
Now I am happy with a few hours a week of social tennis . Maybe go back to yoga. 
DIET is now my main concern. My metabolism has changed a lot so I needed to find the right combination of foods.
As I age I find I can’t do dairy / fried foods (my stomach gets upset)
So in the morning I juice/blend a lot of my greens. I try to consume healthy fats since I stay away from grains / bread. I use a lot of coconut Oil for my food / 
desserts and at times in my coffee. I love  coconut Keffir – probiotics.  Avocado / spinach / banana shake during my tennis games . 
I eat a lot of greens / chicken – fish – soups . Once I take out sugar and eat healthy I do find I am not sluggish and have lots of energy for my daily activities . 
But my weakness is chocolates 😱😱😱
What else do you want to accomplish? What is your one great dream?
I hope to do more shows on CNN Philippines.
I love nutrition / food / parenting .. 
I love Philippine made 😍😍😍 products / clothes/ jewelry
christinejacob

Words from Daphne Oseña-Paez

I feature my favorite people here in my blog site. They inspire me in so many different ways. The next person I will be presenting is someone I admire not just for her beauty and style, but also for her brain, talent, and confidence. Her works reflect my hobby and interests like blogging, travel, home, fashion jewelry, and inspiring stories about women and motherhood. I am very blessed that she responded to some of my questions. She even gave me some advice for my blog! I remember first seeing her from the show, “F” which she co-hosted with Angel Aquino and Cher Calvin! Meet the lovely and very smart, Daphne Oseña-Paez!

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“Daphne Oseña-Paez is a TV host, producer, and businesswoman from Manila.  She is known for her production and hosting of television programs  Urban Zone, Proudly Filipina, and F. She is the first Filipina ever appointed Special Advocate for Children by UNICEF Philippines.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daphne_Ose%C3%B1a-Paez)

“In May 2011 she founded Auction for Action: A UNICEF Fundraising Online Auction to benefit children’s programs in the Philippines and worldwide. It was the first online auction for UNICEF Philippines. It features work from noted local artists and designers in the hope of raising money that would benefit programs on maternal health and education in the Philippines’ poorer areas.”   She was also featured in Vogue in 2011 (http://www.vogue.it/en/people-are-talking-about/vogue-features/2011/12/daphne-osena-paez#ad-image145665)

Here are some answers straight from Daphne.

What were you doing before your TV appearances?

Urban planning

What course did you take in College and where? Did you really dream of hosting and being a public figure?

University of Toronto. Bachelor of Arts, specialist in Fine Art History, minor in Urban Studies. No dreams of TV work or public life. I was working as an urban planner, managing Canadian-funded programs in developing countries. Everything else was a happy accident.

With all the shows, TV hosting that you made what was your most favorite and why? Urban Zone – its my own show/creation. I didn’t just host it. I was producer, writer. It was a successful attempt at a late night lifestyle show. It was very influential.

What was the hardest challenge you have encounter? – life is full of challenges. In my darkest hour I turn to prayer. I’m never alone. I put full trust in the Lord. (As for sharing actual challenge, it’s too personal)

What is it you fear the most? – only God knows.

Do you consider yourself a hands on mom? How do you balance your career and family? — I don’t like the term “hands on mom” I don’t think it should exist. Because whether you are working or not, you are a mother just the same.

What is the most important thing you want your children to learn? What is it that you want to impart to them? – that they are loved by us no matter what. That they find joy in what it is they choose to do.

You are beauty and brains! In terms of beauty and appearance, are you high maintenance? How do you take care of your looks? What is beauty for you? Beauty tips you can share? – Be kind to your skin and body. Rest a lot. Don’t expose yourself to the sun too much. See a derma every month for cleaning. I go to Belo for facial and power peel every month.

What are your hobbies? – learning more dishes. I just learned how to cook. 

For more information and update of her works, you can visit her website  http://daphne.ph/.

It was really my pleasure to have an exchange of words with this super talented and very nice lady!

 

Mother’s Day 2016

Pretty hands have grown old through the years

Doing all kinds of chores and caring for me

Those wrinkly eyes still have their glow

Always watching over me.

Now that I have grown

Got a family of my own

Something will forever be the same

Her heart wishing me all the best

Her heart full of love for me

~ Tin Lazaro

Carmen is her name.  From Latin origin, it means “song,” “tune,” or “poem” and is also the root of the English word charm. Truly, she is music. It has always been her first love. And I thank her for bringing music into our lives. From then until now, she has always been so generous to me and my siblings. Whenever she would get home, she has little things for us. More importantly, she always gives us the emotional support we need. She rescues us and lifts us up when we are troubled.. She has always been so selfless putting our happiness and welfare before hers. She is our guide, our light.

Evelyn is her name. She raised me too. She was a great influence in giving us the best education we can ever have. I remember her enrolling us in schools, taking us to music classes (voice and flute) and even taking us to our facial care sessions in high school. She has also influenced me in terms of religious/church affiliation… A woman does not have to bear the child to become a mother. You can raise children and be a mother too. It does not have to be biological. It is all about the love and care through the years.

I have aunties/Tita/Tia (both blood related and not) who I look up to as Moms. They are the women who inspire me, who support me and care for me through the different chapters in my life as a wife and mother.

I also remember my mother-in-law, Araceli,  who gave life to my better half, the reason I have become a mother too.  I remember my sisters and girl friends who are mothers as well.  I think about all the mothers around who have dedicated their lives to raising children. Raising kids is a complex and yet beautiful mission. It goes beyond providing material/physical needs. There is emotional, intellectual, and spiritual responsibilities. It is a mission for life.

No mother is perfect. Not even me. We just keep doing our best to give our children a good life, a solid foundation that will guide them even when we will no longer be around. We keep doing our best in giving them happy memories.

Play with them, read to them, converse with them. We keep praying for them.

This song I played is dedicated to all the Mommies in the world. It is entitled “Sa Ugoy ng Duyan, ” a Filipino lullaby co-written by Lucio San Pedro and Levi Celerio, who were both National Artists of the Philippines.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sa_Ugoy_ng_Duyan

“The lyrics are written in the first person point of view. It is made up of two stanzas, with four lines each.

In the first stanza, the singer wishes that his childhood and his memories of his mother will never fade. He also wants to hear his mother’s song again, which to him is a song of love.

In the second stanza, he describes his sleep as being peaceful, while stars watch and guard him. For him, his life becomes heaven whenever his mother sings him her lullaby. Finally, he reveals the reason for his longing: he is enduring some hardship, and this is why he was longing for his mother’s lullaby.

In the final line (coda), the singer addresses his mother and wishes that he could sleep again in his old cradle.”

Promoting Values

Literally, every time I watch this commercial, tears flow from my eyes. No matter how many times I have seen it. It is funny how my children look at me or call me whenever it is on.

I guess I think about my daughter and my husband.  I think about my dad. I think about childhood and parenting. Children growing up. People growing old. I ponder on the cycle of life. Of how we all have common experiences in life. And no matter how sad or scary, we all have to go through it. And of course, never fail to see the happiness and beauty that also come with it.