Anticipating, thinking about the concept of fear, discomfort, anxiety makes me really feel it for real. Having a headache now getting worried about my concern. I am aware it must be all in the mind. Focus. Be courageous. And remember all those inspirations and lessons I have been holding to. But too much rationalizing makes me tired and sleepy. I noticed since I was very young, when I had concerns, problems, heartaches, I felt sleepy most of the time. Maybe tired from thinking?
Let me just worry tomorrow. I will sleep now so my mind and body will work efficiently… and will be rational! I know after the upcoming storm, no matter how long it would stay, I would still be alive and I will survive.
She married him.
They were best friends. They were very much in love. They have been through a lot together. Adventures shared. Tears and laughter. He adores her and we see how he takes care of her.
They tried to have children. Failed twice, souls traumatized. The pain of losing a child is beyond imagination. God is still merciful, the third one made it at last. A beautiful and healthy angel is now in their midst. Now they are complete. They are a family. It is a perfect wonderful world!
It changed in a day. A cheating heart. Betrayal. It crushed her spirit. Numbness. She could not feel anything. Pain, too much pain. But she did not wail, cry, or lash out. Just very sad. Heart torn into pieces.
Giving it a second chance. Struggle everyday. Bitter reminders. Mixed emotions. It is a nightmare. Could not believe it just happened. What to do? Why would you throw something away quickly? People make mistakes. Do not throw everything away. She feels his remorse. He is hurting too but his tears can not take the pain away or undo the damage. Broken trust. She slowly feels the anger. But still longs for healing and forgiveness. She clings to the love they have shared. And chooses to believe in it.
How do you mend a broken heart? A broken spirit? In time. Will love save them? When does a heart finally forgive while the mind does not forget? How do you deal with each day? Reminding you of the mistake or the sin your loved one has caused you?
Then she cries:
“I hope one day soon, all these hate will go away and I can see you again.
I hope one day soon I can look at you again and not see all the reasons why I should hate you.
I hope and I pray that one day soon, I can finally look at you and only see all the reasons why I love you…”