Since I got back home, I usually feel sad, stressed out, and my temper short. I do my very best just to be a good mother although there are a lot of times my patience is being challenged.. Mind you, I generally feel happy and glad that I am back to personally take care of my family. My mother in law is still here until the end of this month as well as my mom. Maybe when things get back to normal, meaning my own established routine, and it will just be us home, slowly I will be able to have more time alone, hopefully more time to think and heal. School day starts soon and I am sure things will get back on track.

If nowadays I feel down, I know very soon I will again be the happiest.

I still count my blessings. All my friends who care, my family, my brother and sisters… And do not forget, the beer and the wine! 😉

Until The Day We Meet

Today is the second week we first saw him in the coffin. 
It was the first day of wake. 
My mind can not stop going back to memories of the past. I always remember exactly a month ago I spoke to him. Two weeks ago, a week ago this and that happened.
I know I will never be able to keep up with time. Soon I will stop thinking how many days, weeks or months have passed. I know the time will come when I will just look forward…just what he wants us all to do. 
The pain will slowly go away but the love for my father will remain. It will be within me until I see him again…

Ordinary Day

I wish I can talk about something else just like before. Seeing beauty in simple things, so much positivity striving to live a more meaningful life. 

Honestly I am not sure what I feel at present. Definitely it is not vibrant and lovely.  There are days it feels just so ordinary. I go on with my routine taking care of my family and our home. Alongside with it, there are minor distractions. At least I try to convince my mind that it is just minor and does not deserve my energy… But yes, life goes on. It will never pause, never stop even if you lose something or someone. I am living the reality of life. Trying to just move along, going with the flow. Ignoring what is inside, maybe a turmoil, some sadness and darkness. 

The other day I just burst into tears. I usually do not cry. And if I do, it is just for a while. A memory suddenly came to me. I remember maybe it was last Fathers Day, when I was on the phone with my Dad. I just told him I am planning to visit him next year and I could not figure out yet the schedule. I had to wait for my son’s school calendar and work out my visit. I remember he said, “Okay, I’ll be here…” 

Excuse Note

I used to read my fellow bloggers’ posts to get insights, wisdom, and inspiration everyday. I have not been too active these past few weeks. I would like to apologize for not being around, for not visiting your sites often. Soon, I will get back on track. With my Dad’s passing, I am just existing and going with the flow.

I know you will all still be there after this. Keep shining and inspiring!

A Sad Night

I am double sad…. First, my dad is still in the hospital. I still hope he will be better. I hope he will be healed and will regain his health. The good thing is I will be flying back home but I have to leave my kids behind. It is my very first time to be away from them and it drives me crazy. Separation anxiety. But I should keep thinking that all these things happen for a reason. 

Social Media Or Not

I am a very private person. I guess it is my personality. I was born like it. In addition, I believe the “bringing up” factor counts since my father was a lawyer/agent so we were taught (indirectly) not to be too trusting with the surroundings, with people/strangers. Be more vigilant and careful especially growing up in the Philippines.

I deactivated my Facebook account because I felt it was too much, too social. In fairness, Facebook helps you quickly reach out to anyone since a lot of people are practically using it. Anyway I survived not using it for more than a year now and I felt happier.

Honestly, I was hesitant putting up personal photos here or even my real name. However, I thought that if people want to truly see and feel my messages or my sincerity, there should be honesty. Some personal touch.  So I decided to put my name on it. Added my photo on the profile. On the 8th month of actively blogging, I posted a personal photo. Hooray!

I know that there are advantages and disadvantages of using social media. I am hesitant but at the back of my head I am thinking that if you really want to connect to people, you have to share a part of you (while still being careful, while still protecting your privacy).

I only have WordPress and Instagram to connect to you. I am already happy with these 2. You can add me up if you are using Instagram! khris_79!

Have a great week guys!!!!

Afternoon Music For You

I love any kind of music.  It touches my soul. It is like painting. It transports you into a different world.

When I was in college (around 19 years ago)  I fell in love with this music.  I can still hear it in my head. I guess, I can never be tired listening to this. It will always be considered as one of my all time favorites. It is so beautiful, I guess a little bit sad. I feel so much love and longing. It can always make me cry.

It is from the movie, Love Affair, a romantic drama film from 1994. It starred Warren Beatty and Annette Benning. The music I fell in love with was composed by Ennio Morricone.

Sharing it with you. I hope you like it. Tell me what you think : )

Goosebumps

What are goosebumps? 

I have been having it for the third day usually only on the right side of my body particularly the right arm. 

When I was growing up they say if you have goosebumps, there are spirits around you. But I am sure there is a physical explanation I yet need to research on.

I hope your day is going well and do not forget to enjoy each breathing moment. 

Yes It Is You

You know what? You do not know me. And I do not know you.

We are but mere strangers passing by

Did we come across each others’ path for a reason?

At this exact time, this very moment?

Is it all by chance or by choice that we are here?

With words connecting us

Are we still strangers?