Not All People Are Nice

As a Mom, I wish to shield my children from the negativity of this world. However, I know that this is not possible!

So I change my strategy. As I guide them, I would  talk to them about some bitter realities of life. Of course, I try to soften it. I want them to be prepared. To be ready. I wish to equip them with skills that will help them survive, succeed, and live a happy life.

Relationships enormously affect us. I tell my kids, when people are born, they are nice. We are all like angels. But as we all go through our lives, a lot of factors come in (environment, family, health etc.) and they affect/shape the person. As I explain this to my 8-year-old, he quickly said, “Yes Mommy but each person can choose if they want to be good or bad.”

The fact is NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE NICE. That is another sad reality of life.

Some people may not be nice to your face at all, and some people can even stab you at the back.

I tell my kids, DO NOT LET OTHERS’ COMMENTS DEFINE OR AFFECT YOU.

Only focus on the people and things that will make you better and happy. Stay away from the negative people/things that pull you down.  THERE IS NO PLEASING EVERYBODY. At times you are already doing everything that you can with all good intentions. And people can still say hurtful things about you (at your face or on your back).

As long as you know that YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN AT THE MOMENT and YOU THINK A MILLION TIMES ABOUT YOUR DECISION OR CHOICE before you act on it, then YOU SHOULD HAVE NO REGRETS and HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. You’ll see.

PRAY A LOT too and always ASK FOR WISDOM AND STRENGTH. There is definitely a God who sees through our hearts.

It  can be a cruel world, full of struggles and challenges as it is also filled with so many beautiful things.

It is a blessing to live, and we must have the right perspective in order to enjoy this gift!

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How To Protect Our Children?

I often say to my friend, it is indeed a challenge to raise children… As a parent, we feel accountable. It is our duty to make sure that they turn out into good, successful, healthy, and happy people. We make sure we fill their needs intellectually, emotionally, physically, psychologically. God gave them to us and it is our responsibility to love and let them be the best persons they can be.

I have a son and he is turning 7 years old this year. They say that the first seven years of the child’s life is very crucial or important. This may define the persons they will likely be later on. So we try to instill the values that we can and focus on their needs. This is one of the reasons why I stopped working when my son was 2 1/2 years old. Thank God, my husband and I have the option that I stay home to take care of our children during the first few years of their life. I try to instill love of books, love of reading in my children. I love borrowing a lot of interesting books for them. This makes them see reading as something fun. My husband and I try to expose them as well to different activities just to find out their interests and talents. Andrei went to classes like Martial arts, and now he is playing golf every weekend. This school year we sent him to catechism class in church too. We need to build up the spiritual side as well.   We make sure that they see the value of learning. I closely monitor his performance in school. Everyday, we have time to read and do school homework together. As parents, we are not perfect. I get tired too and it challenges my patience.  But we still do our best to give the children what they deserve. All the love, care, and attention.

I am writing this because I realized that no matter how we protect our children, when they go out of the house, they go to school, you can not shield them at all from negative things. Out there, there can be bad influence or people who can hurt them. I understand that it is the real world, and eventually they have to deal with it. But as a mom, I want to make sure that when they face the real world, they will be equipped and their values are strong.

During the start of first grade, my son would often complain about a classmate who never stopped teasing him. The boy would say bad stuff to him or call him bad names. I would often advise my son to ignore the boy or report to the teacher if he is really hurt and offended. My son seems fine. Then these past few weeks, he would tell me things about school and that boy again would do or say something not nice to him. As a mother, it is our natural reaction, it is our instinct to be protective of our children. I felt I have had enough and I am a concerned parent. I am curious. I just want to find out what is going on. It happened that the boy’s mother is an acquaintance/a friend (not that close). I was thinking, I know his mom, so I tried to send a message to the boy’s mother about what has been going on with our sons. I was very careful with my words. I believe my approach was constructive. Well, it did not turn out well. She sounded pissed off and trying to tell me that we should not take kids fight seriously. She was over reacting. So I tried to apologize if I offended her so many times and even tried to call her. But some people are so narrow minded. I understand that she is being protective of her child as well. But I am sure there are things she does not know about her son. Her son told Andrei (my son) not to report to me of what’s happening to them in school. And just earlier, I was so alarmed. This is the reason why I wrote about this. My six year old was joking around. He went to my back and innocently joke about putting the thing in the butt! He was like singing about it. I asked him where did he learn it? He was so clueless why I was very upset. He said he learned it from the same boy. The boy would joke to him about it. I got so worried, so furious. I protect my child from any negative thing and I realize I can not do that out of home! We spent time talking about manners, respect, being good, choosing good friends, picking up only good things, I am really so alarmed. And I do not feel sorry anymore having opened it to my friend. I am aware that she has been having problems with her son. But I do not want my son to be involved with her son.

Now I am thinking of home schooling. I can see the advantages for the children, especially during the first few years of life at least. By the time they go to high school, I believe their values will already  be strong/established.

Oh my goodness. Good luck to us parents. May God’s help be with us as we do our mission to take care of our children!