What I Felt A Few Nights Ago

One of the hardest battles in this life

Is the battle within oneself

The conflicting mind and heart

The push and the pull

Even after getting drunk,

and the body feels numb,

The only thing you feel

In the center of your being

Is the pain beating in the heart

Upcoming Storm

Anticipating, thinking about the concept of fear, discomfort, anxiety makes me really feel it for real. Having a headache now getting worried about my concern. I am aware it must be all in the mind. Focus. Be courageous. And remember all those inspirations and lessons I have been holding to. But too much rationalizing makes me tired and sleepy. I noticed since I was very young, when I had concerns, problems, heartaches, I felt sleepy most of the time. Maybe tired from thinking?

Let me just worry tomorrow. I will sleep now so my mind and body will work efficiently… and will be rational! I know after the upcoming storm, no matter how long it would stay, I would still be alive and I will survive.

Quick Break – Short Post

I feel like I have been chasing time. I did not even have the time to write my thoughts.And yet, still a lot of things to do. And the day is almost done. Why am I so busy? I guess it is better than have nothing to do? So I took my energy boosting vitamins! I need it.

It is the start of the week. May we all be productive while we feel happy and blessed. Challenges, problems? I will keep fighting you! You may scare me, and make me feel anxious, but I say, you can not defeat me. Life is still beautiful. And my spirit is growing and evolving. I am empowered.

Best Versus Beast

Random thoughts when I was walking on my treadmill.

Some people bring out the BEST in you.

Some people bring out the BEAST in you.

Best versus Beast

Do you know what I mean?

When I look back and think that for a very long time I suffered

Either caused by my own mind or by a culprit or a true source

I never understood why I had to be in that situation

As a Christian, I just viewed it as my cross

That everything has a reason

That darkness too shall pass

It tested me to the limits and I am not sure if it already broke me

The negative emotions made me sin in my mind, heart, words, and soul

Then I felt like a very sinful being feeling frustrated, hatred, anger,

I grew to dislike myself and I have never been so bad in my life

All those times, I felt not close to God

Everyday I can’t help but notice darkness and ugliness

I fought it because there was still beauty and graces around

I felt so trapped in a murky muddy place

But it does not matter now forĀ  You have liberated me

They say everything happens for a reason

And it will eventually make you a stronger and better person

I still have to figure that out

All I know is I have become more appreciative of my everyday

Each day I rejoice and I see beauty

And I savor a peaceful mind, a peaceful heart, and peaceful life.