Soon, we will be leaving the home I have loved so much for more than 5 years. This house is my first “home” after I got married. We lived in a house prior to this but I felt like it was just more of a house. A house is not always a home. But this one? I call it my sweet little home. This is the home of hopes, dreams, healing, joy, and peace. My family had a lot of happy memories in here.
They say, the only permanent thing in this world is CHANGE. So I guess this is another major change for us! Although we are sad because we will miss being in here, we are also looking forward to a new chapter in our life. Besides, they say home is wherever your heart is. Our family will be together so that’s all that matters. We will make the next house our home.
This morning, I had a bad hair day. I felt so grouchy inside. I am not usually like that. For me that is a petty reason to be feeling down or cranky. My husband and I were taking the kids to the nearby park. I still could not fix my hair. Put it up, down, up, no good. I felt so lousy. I was not feeling good about myself. So I put a big hat on (just like the grandmas walking on a park) to hide my hair. Eventually, I got irritated with the big black hat so I took it off. I put my hair down from a hair donut. It was sunny and the kids were having fun running around. I put the hat on again since my face felt the scorching heat of the sun. I badly wanted to go home. Suddenly, someone I did not feel like talking to was approaching the park with her kids. She reminds me so much of a tactless person I know (which I dislike). With the bad mood, I certainly did not feel like talking, but it left me with no choice. Then she was talking about how my husband looks like he is 25 years old. A lot of people say that he looks 10 years younger than his age. He has a baby face you can say and he works out regularly. This was agitating me. With my low self esteem this morning, it also reminded me of how hard I am trying to lose weight. It was implied or maybe I was thinking about it that I look older and “bigger”. When we came home, I cooked lunch, fed the kids, gave them a bath. As soon as my little girl fell asleep from the nap, without hesitation I told my husband that I am going out for a hair cut. I do not remember the last time I changed my hairstyle. Maybe it was way back in 2009 after I gave birth to my son. For years, I had the same hairstyle. Maybe today I just got sick of it. I needed a change. I went to the Salon and slowly I was feeling light (outside and inside) as I see the long strands saying goodbye. I came home feeling better. I put on a little make up and I started writing. Why did not do it soon? Did I forget? Was I just contented all those times? Maybe I was concerned that I do not look good anymore with short hair? But I realized…it will still grow if I can not pull it through. It is not the end of the world.
Change is part of life. It is necessary at some point.