The Last Father’s Day

It’s been a while since I last dreamed of my father. There are days when I still can’t believe he is gone. I miss him in so many ways. I try my best not to have my thoughts dwell on him. I even try to avoid looking at his photos. It just makes me cry inside and out.

Few nights ago, I finally had a dream of him. I saw him wearing a royal blue colored garment. He was driving, and I was at the back seat. We had a conversation about how my 2 year old niece got a visa and would be visiting me soon. We were on our way to the church. We parked and I stayed outside talking to some members of the choir while he went ahead inside. Then I saw him sitting and looking out as if signaling me to come in. Then it was blank.

I told my sister that I dreamed of our Tatay (Father). She was amazed because some few days before, she visited his grave. She was telling her baby girl to tell Tatay that she got a visa and would be visiting me soon! What a coincidence we thought!

Another thing. I did not tell my sister the details of my dream but the next day she dreamed of Tatay  twice. The second dream’s scene was at the church too. Tatay was wearing something blue just like in my dream. My sister was with some choir members because they were preparing for a song presentation, a tribute to the families. She was crying because of the song, “Minsan Lang Kitang Iibigin”. Our Tatay was there, alive. I did not tell her the details of my dream. We were both surprised to see some resemblance. His blue clothes. The church scene. Choir members.

Then we thought… Father’s Day is coming up soon. I told my 7 year old son about our dreams and he said, “Tatay just wants to be with you because it’s almost Father’s Day. He can’t anymore so he just visits you in your dreams.”

Now my heart feels so gloomy like the weather outside. I recall last year’s Father’s Day (June 2015). I do not remember what we talked about on the phone but I remember feeling very happy. We talked longer than usual about just anything. And I know I was able to express to him how much I love him. And I never imagined that it would be his last Father’s Day on Earth.

I will forever carry and cherish him in my heart. I wish love is felt across time. I hope he will always feel our love.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads in the world. If you still have him, you got to let him know and feel how much he means to you…

I just saw this commercial earlier and would just want to share with you. Let us remember all the Dads in the world especially the ones who are working very hard to give their families better lives.

 

 

 

 

I Dreamed Of You

She was laying in bed. On her side. Weeping. And there was an embrace from behind. She looked over and saw her Dad. Comforting her saying in Filipino, “Ganyan talaga hija.” (That’s how it is, my daughter)

And she woke up from her sleep. She felt happy that at least she gets to see him in her dreams…

 

father-daughter-hug-love

 

Photo Credit: davidkanigan.com

A Visit In My Dream

When I was growing up, we used to regularly meet with a  Chinese Family. They were very good friends with my father. We visited their home somewhere in Manila. Similarly, they also came to our house every end of December. I do not remember but somehow the dates were significant to them and my father. They were very generous all the time. They always gave me and my siblings red envelopes or hongbao.  This is a monetary gift which is given during holidays or special occasions. Robert, the head of their family, was my brother’s godfather. I believe he passed away around 9 months ago when my father was sick in the hospital.

It is a strange thing and it often happens to me. How can I dream of deceased people when I do not even think of them or I do not even remember them? Last night, I had a dream about Robert. He gave me a hongbao. He was showing me some notes on the notebook. He even gave me a flute! I used to play the flute in high school through college. How did I dream about this? I told my husband about it and he said it is just the subconscious working. He is from the medical field so he tends to be skeptical or scientific about things. But me?… whenever I dream about souls, people who passed away, souls I do not even think about, I believe that they really come to visit, they are trying to saying something, or asking for prayers. When I opened my eyes, I prayed for him. I still do. It was indeed a surprise visit.  A lot of thoughts come by, about life, living, being alive, dying, death, and prayers… Death looks like part of the natural cycle of life, yet it is not easy to comprehend and accept (unlike having a new born child). Oh well… Did you ever experience something like this? Please share your thoughts. It can be scientific explanation or something else.

hongbao