I worked that day. The traffic was not bad as I drove home from work. It was almost dark. The house was bright as I got home. Few friends came over. We had a few drinks and had dinner together. I had a special guest who happened to be my crush at that time. It was so obvious that my father was thrilled because the guy happened to be a lawyer just like him. Little did he know that it was a hopeless case. The guy just saw me as a friend.
I am writing not because of the guy. I am writing because that was the last birthday party I remember. I believe it was also the last party I had with my father around before I left home. It was my 26th birthday. And then I totally stopped counting my age. Although I have always been grateful to life and to my blessings.
Reality bites. We can’t stop time. We can’t stop aging. For the first time as I was brushing my hair, I found some white strands of hair. Not just one but two or three. After a few weeks, it happened again. And I haven’t checked since then.
For a long time, I have been terrified by the thought of getting old and dying. It consumed my thoughts for a while especially right after my father passed away. And I have realized that it is a process. It takes time to understand and accept the idea of death. I have finally accepted that it is an inevitable part of life. And someday we will all end up there. With this in mind, I believe it is affecting my perspective of life. Still it is a learning process. But I am getting there.
I may stop counting my age but I will never stop being grateful for NOW.