Her 26th Birthday

I worked that day. The traffic was not bad as I drove home from work. It was almost dark. The house was bright as I got home. Few friends came over. We had a few drinks and had dinner together. I had a special guest who happened to be my crush at that time. It was so obvious that my father was thrilled because the guy happened to be a lawyer just like him. Little did he  know that it was a hopeless case. The guy just saw me as a friend.

I am writing not because of the guy. I am writing because that was the last birthday party I remember. I believe it was also the last party I had with my father around before I left home.  It was my 26th birthday. And then I totally stopped counting my age. Although I have always been grateful to life and to my blessings.

Reality bites. We can’t stop time. We can’t stop aging. For the first time as I was brushing my hair,  I found some white strands of hair. Not just one but two or three. After a few weeks, it happened again. And I haven’t checked since then.

For a long time, I have been terrified by the thought of getting old and dying. It consumed my thoughts for a while especially right after my father passed away. And I have realized that it is a process. It takes time to understand and accept the idea of death. I have finally accepted that it is an inevitable part of life. And someday we will all end up there. With this in mind, I believe it is affecting my perspective of life. Still it is a learning process. But I am getting there.

I may stop counting my age but I will never stop being grateful for NOW.

Beauty Tips

I stare at my face in the mirror.

So imperfect.

Wondering about getting old,

Minimize the lines and the signs.

Nobody can fight nature.

Perfect faces eventually will be wrinkled.

Even the most beautiful woman in the world will be old.

Everyone will look different as we reach that stage.

Let’s not  be too attached,

To obsessed  with physical beauty.

Soon it will fade away.

Do not be consumed by the standards of the world.

Beauty is how you feel inside.

Growing in wisdom,

Gratitude, Happiness, and Love.

Those essential things invisible to the eyes.

Those things inside that last forever.

Each person is truly beautiful.

 

Random Thoughts On CHANGES

Change is the only permanent thing in this life. We have seen it from books, photos, and films how the world around us has changed. Industrialization. Technology. People. Way of Life. Everything changes. Everyone does.

Based on my own experience, there is something else that has remained constant. It is the “inner SELF”. I am not sure how it is called. It maybe a person’s spirit or soul.  I feel exactly the same way ten years ago and even twenty years ago. And as far as I remember. I am me.

I grew up and learned more things  from school. I am continuously learning from my everyday experiences. Although there have been changes in the environment, in my situation, status, in the physical world, somehow there is still that core being which  has remained the same all through the years.

I close my eyes and I have always been that same person. Although when I look at photos of me, I look different each time. I am getting older. And that is something that we can not escape. No matter how rich and beautiful we are. We all do our best to prolong our life. We take care of our bodies. We exercise. We try to look our best. Some are even more fashionable. More luxurious. But we can not stop nature. We will all look old someday. And we know what happens next. Then we are all the same…

Photo Credit: www.cylviahayes.net

 

Promoting Values

Literally, every time I watch this commercial, tears flow from my eyes. No matter how many times I have seen it. It is funny how my children look at me or call me whenever it is on.

I guess I think about my daughter and my husband.  I think about my dad. I think about childhood and parenting. Children growing up. People growing old. I ponder on the cycle of life. Of how we all have common experiences in life. And no matter how sad or scary, we all have to go through it. And of course, never fail to see the happiness and beauty that also come with it.

 

A Reflection From Potty Training

I would just like to record this milestone we have reached.This week, my daughter and I are serious with potty training. I saw the signs that she is ready, and so I pulled out the toddler potty I have been keeping in the garage. I bought it from last year. At first,  I tried to introduce it to her but she would always say “No!” I figured that she was not ready yet so I stopped pressuring her.

After she turned 3 last August 8 (the same day of my Dad’s interment), I once again introduced the potty to her. This time, she is more responsive. Since we are usually at home, I now try to make her wear some training pants. I would ask her to sit down on her little potty every now and then. Sometimes, she is actually the one who tells us that she needs to go.

photo credit: www.dreamstime.com

I recall when she was a year old until she reached her second year, she was just a baby. Now that she is 3, I can see and feel that she is growing too fast. Soon no more diapers (more money to save!) Soon, she will be in school, and she will be like her big brother, a big kid. There is no stopping time. It keeps going. It keeps flying fast. I wish it will slow down a little bit. I want to be in here and bathe in happiness and experience of parenthood.

Last night, my husband and I were watching the film, Up In The Air, a 2009 American comedy-drama film, starring George Clooney. There was a scene there when a guy got cold feet during his wedding. The following lines below just struck me. And I think of my journey. And I guess it is the same for most of us. How it all started and how it will end.

I don't think I'm going to be able to uh...
to do this.

  
Why would you say that...today?

  
Well, last night I was just kinda laying
in bed and I couldn't get to sleep.

  
So I started thinking about the wedding
and the ceremony,

  
and about our buying a house
and moving in together.

  
And having a kid,
and having another kid and then

  
Christmas and Thanksgiving
and spring break.

  
Going to football games, and then
all of a sudden they're graduating.

  
They're getting jobs, they're getting married.
And, you know, I'm a grandparent.

  
And then I'm retired.
I'm losing my hair, I'm getting fat.

  
And then the next thing you know
I'm dead.

  
I'm just, like...I can't stop from thinking,
what's the point?

  
I mean, what is the point?

  
The point?
- What am I starting here?

(From http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/u/up-in-the-air-script-transcript.html)

Beyond What You See

Will be wrinkled someday

Will be old

Will soon depart this world

Turn into ashes

No exception for anyone…

So remember, not to be enslaved

By physical beauty

By power and fame….

Nothing is wrong if you aspire for more

To seek improvement

And be at your best

Be beautiful, be fashionable

Have the things you like to possess

But do not be enslaved

By worldly matters….

There is more beyond that

All icing on the cake

So enticing and inviting

Take a look and taste the inside

See beyond what your eyes can see