On Its Second Year

 

It is true what they say. In time you will no longer feel much pain. You will keep moving. You’ll finally get used to the absence.

As much as I love him,  I try not to dwell on the thought that we lost him. I try to see it in a different perspective. He lives in us, we carry him in our hearts.

I still cry but not as much as I did. When he crosses my mind I feel sad but I feel much stronger now.

Although there are moments when I can’t help the tears especially when things around me bring vivid memories of him.

Like last night my kids were playing with their Dad. My little girl was walking on his back and saying that she’s giving him a massage. I remembered during our younger days when we would do the same. Tears fell from my eyes.

Just a while ago when we were watching one of our favorite comedy shows, if featured the 1980 something show called Knight Rider. I remembered the talking black car called KITT, that drove super fast, was bulletproof, fireproof, and helped Michael fought injustices in the world. It brought up some childhood memories. My siblings and I were fond of the super powered car that we named our family car, Kit. If I remember it right, our father even put up a moving light in front of our car pretending that we’re really driving Kit! Something like this:

Every morning, to wake up my kids, I put up the curtain and let the sunlight into our bedroom. I talk to them or sing to them just the way our old man did.

I know there will be more reminders along the way. One clear proof that our love ones continue to live…

 

 

Life and Death

I experienced my first loss when my father passed away. It opened my eyes about this bitter natural phenomenon. I have spent a lot of times pondering about life.  After which I have been sensitive and very aware of people I know who are sick and who died. I have a list of the people I know who passed away and I pray for them.

One man who was at my father’s wake and who was helping us around died after a month .

Another family friend we called on the phone to inform them of what happened to my father also passed away in two months.She was sick and was on chemo during the times my Dad was in the hospital.

When I got back to the US,the same fate happened to this old man I always talk to in school. He went to Manila for a vacation. I saw his son and I asked how he was doing. And I was shocked and got teary eyed when he said that he was gone.

Now I heard about some women I know who are sick with Cancer. They happened to be my school mate/classmate. One was from elementary and the other one was from high school. They are the same age as me. They are moms too just like me. And from the time I heard about their fight, I pray for them so they will have courage, strength and most importantly be healed.

I remember other friends who have been battling with disease/sickness for years.

I pray that the sick will be healed. The dead will have peace, happiness, and eternal life. And I wish for us who are left in this world, that we will see life as a gift everyday. That we will be more appreciative and grateful for everything. That we will try to live our lives to their fullest.

Photo Credit: livingalignment.com

My Path To Healing

Awareness of that pain

Acknowledge that it is part of human existence

Work hard

Aim for healing and forgiveness

Keep praying for wisdom and strength

Know that everything takes time

Be patient with yourself

Hang in there, never give up

Keep the faith

Communicate with your support group

Feed the mind with positive things

Surround yourself with people who will uplift you

Work on it

Be mindful

And one day you will just wake up

To find yourself free

Happy and at peace

With life’s unfolding events

You will see

There is truly room for forgiveness

All wounds heal

And love prevails…

~ Khris

 

 

Happy New Year to all my friends here in the blog world!

We are almost saying goodbye to 2015. Kiss your troubles goodbye. You will start 2016, wiser, stronger, more caring, more human.

 Keep writing and be inspired : )

 

 

Peaceful Mind

I feel my soul has evolved

It has matured and grown

After I have overcome my fears

After I have let go of the hatred in my being.

Forgiveness is indeed possible!

Forgiving oneself and the people who hurt you

But It would only require time

Time away and time to heal

It is never easy

But is worth a try.

One’s effort to help oneself is the next important thing

Train the mind and teach it to be open to forgiveness

Feed your mind with positivity

Be open to certain wisdom that aid in one’s survival

Feed your soul with prayers and hope

Be accepting of the realities of life

and that of being alive,

and being human.

We all make mistakes. We are not perfect.

So do not be too harsh on yourself or with others.

Take it all in. All emotions that you feel.

They are all but indications that you are alive!

Life is short. Life is delicate. It is frail.

Let us do our best not to spend our moments

worrying, being afraid, or feeling hatred.

We have to strive to see the light.

To seek enlightenment and be better and happy.

Yes, we often hear these lessons

And it is easier said than done

But believe me, what they say is true

Human kindness truly work.

Go through the process

Be brave and strong

Hold on to those lessons…

A Prayer Request

A few more days and I am plunging into an abyss!

I have been preparing for over a year now.

Hopefully I will not drown.

Hoping I will do just fine.

Can you please whisper a prayer for me as you read this?

That this woman may succeed in finding healing and peace.

Amen…

Photo Credit: mustified.com

Healing Wounds

I checked my old wound that has been hurting for years.

I think it has healed. It does not look fresh at all.

When I looked at the old photos, I do not feel trembling anymore due to strong emotions. My heart is not pounding hard at all. My breathing is steady. My soul longs for reconciliation, for forgiveness and love.

I feel the time has come… I am ready to face it anytime. The signs have been around. There are days when I feel so courageous. Maybe I have finally let go of the past.

It is true that TIME heals all wounds. No matter how long it takes. Maybe it is the natural course of life. Healing happens when you also remove yourself in the hurting situation. You distance yourself from it.  Distance, time, and hard work all help in the process of healing. Hard work for me is feeding your thoughts, your soul, your being with positivity, inspiration, understanding of self, others, humans, and LIFE. Then you will just know that you are okay. You are healed. You have moved on. And being scared, mad, afraid, is just a waste of your happy and beautiful life.

So if you are hurting or battling with something, know that you will be fine. You will wake up to a sunny day!

This was our PRENUP photo taken by Louie Reformado

http://louiereformadophotography.blogspot.com/

Pain Pain Go Away

We talk about pain

It is part of being human

We experience different kinds of it

Be it physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual

Pain in different levels

Pain in different degrees

And when we experience it

We just want it to disappear

If you are experiencing pain right now

Close your eyes and breathe God’s love

I give hugs to you and say a prayer too

It will not be dark forever

There is nothing permanent in this world

Not even pain, not even pain

Pray hard and never lose hope

Someone surely cares about you!!!!

(inspired by darklady5 )

A Better Day

Today is exactly a year since I was emotionally liberated. So I lit up a candle in our little altar to give thanks. It was a beginning of a new day, a new hope, a new life, and a time for healing. I know I am almost there. I can feel it in my mind, my heart, and my soul.  Forgiving myself and the person who might have caused me trouble. It is not easy to forget but it is possible to forgive… in time. So never shut the door. Keep believing in the good. You have to help yourself. Train your mind. Pray to God. There is always time for everything. Just hang in there. “Let the storm rage on” (line from the Song, Frozen). Then you will wake up to a better day.

To My Heart and Mind

There is no way I can run away from you

You are like a shadow

Your life is intertwined with mine

There is no hiding, no escaping

Some things are just beyond control

Oh my stubborn mind, please cooperate

Open yourself up and be more accepting

Oh my frightened heart, you have to calm down

Open yourself up and be more forgiving

Love is the answer, let it flow from within

One step at a time

Believe you will get there!