In Your Absence

Whenever my thoughts lead their way to you

Still my heart gets crushed

And breaks into tiny little pieces

Just because I miss you so bad…

 

 

Ordinary Day

I wish I can talk about something else just like before. Seeing beauty in simple things, so much positivity striving to live a more meaningful life. 

Honestly I am not sure what I feel at present. Definitely it is not vibrant and lovely.  There are days it feels just so ordinary. I go on with my routine taking care of my family and our home. Alongside with it, there are minor distractions. At least I try to convince my mind that it is just minor and does not deserve my energy… But yes, life goes on. It will never pause, never stop even if you lose something or someone. I am living the reality of life. Trying to just move along, going with the flow. Ignoring what is inside, maybe a turmoil, some sadness and darkness. 

The other day I just burst into tears. I usually do not cry. And if I do, it is just for a while. A memory suddenly came to me. I remember maybe it was last Fathers Day, when I was on the phone with my Dad. I just told him I am planning to visit him next year and I could not figure out yet the schedule. I had to wait for my son’s school calendar and work out my visit. I remember he said, “Okay, I’ll be here…” 

Hopes Of The Troubled Spirit

Numb me

So I do not feel

Blind me

So I do not see

Don’t want to hear

Every word I fear

Weakness

Is what I see…

Strengthen me

So I can stand while I feel

Change me

So I can see the good in it

Help me be more accepting

Of all the things I hear

Help me

So I can be me….