Love Stories

One sunny morning, I was hanging out with my kids in the pool.  Then a very interesting conversation happened. I do not recall how we ended up talking about it but my son was asking about my love stories.  I then recalled the feelings of falling in love, of being in love, as well as the tears and the heartaches that go with it.

There’s a relationship that you outgrow. You think you would want to spend the rest of your life with that special someone but as you mature, you will realize that you just don’t. Maybe it is due to differences in values, priorities, and/or timing.

Sometimes you will meet someone you finally like but you will end up friend zoned. I remember this guy who would always come visit me at work, hung out with me, and called me even at night just to talk about other girls . And you realize after a while you were so stupid to listen to his crazy stories.

There are times when you meet someone and you thought you have something special. He would call you from overseas on a regular basis then one day would just disappear. You will figure out that he found someone else.

Sometimes you would think you have met your soulmate. But they don’t really stay for long.

There are unspoken feelings. Feelings you just keep to yourself. And the person would never ever know how you felt about him/her.

And there is a love meant for you.

And love never ends. It is beautiful. It is painful. It makes life meaningful.

 

 

 

Mother & Son

Being a parent means having this very important responsibility of raising good people.  It is a lifetime mission. We take care of them, provide for all their needs (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), and guide them through life.

Being a parent is not always easy. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get frustrated. We worry. We get disappointed.  In every stage, we face different challenges from waking up late at night to change their diapers or disciplining them in their early childhood days. It can be a lot of work. I say,  having a child  is truly life changing. It is a blessing and at the same time a sacrifice, an act of great love.

What inspired me to write? Earlier, I got into a small fight with my 9-year-old. It might sound petty to others but it meant something to me.

He was so distracted with his gadgets that he would find it hard to pay attention and listen to what I’m saying. Usually I have to repeat A LOT OF TIMES what I have to say to him. And this can be exhausting. I always pray for patience and understanding. It has been a challenge for me nowadays because they are on summer break.  Everyday, I have to set  a time limit with regard to the use of the gadgets. My son and I usually argue about this.  I manage their activities, making sure they read, write, draw, and do something else besides video gaming. I have to take them out of the house too for a swim or stroll at the park.

I lost my temper. I raised my voice. I had to be stern. What irritated me most was the talking back. He was reasoning out when clearly he was wrong. And it broke my heart to see him so mad at me. I sent him to his room for a time out. No TV. No gadgets. I said he needed to be alone and be quiet.

I was worried. I was thinking maybe he would grow up hating me because I would always discipline him. Then I felt sad. I was sorry for saying some things that could have hurt his feelings. I felt bad. I know I am not a perfect person. Definitely not a perfect mom.

I thought of writing him a letter. Just to assure him that I love him. And that whatever we are doing is for his own good. I was about to write him a note when he came out of his room and went to me. He handed me a paper. And saw this …

It melted my heart. I just hugged him for a very long time. I cried quietly. I was relieved. Maybe I am doing the right thing. I did not have to remind him that I love him. He knows. We talked about what happened and the things he learned from it.

He told me to keep this paper and I said I will.

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty Tips

I stare at my face in the mirror.

So imperfect.

Wondering about getting old,

Minimize the lines and the signs.

Nobody can fight nature.

Perfect faces eventually will be wrinkled.

Even the most beautiful woman in the world will be old.

Everyone will look different as we reach that stage.

Let’s not  be too attached,

To obsessed  with physical beauty.

Soon it will fade away.

Do not be consumed by the standards of the world.

Beauty is how you feel inside.

Growing in wisdom,

Gratitude, Happiness, and Love.

Those essential things invisible to the eyes.

Those things inside that last forever.

Each person is truly beautiful.

 

On Its Second Year

 

It is true what they say. In time you will no longer feel much pain. You will keep moving. You’ll finally get used to the absence.

As much as I love him,  I try not to dwell on the thought that we lost him. I try to see it in a different perspective. He lives in us, we carry him in our hearts.

I still cry but not as much as I did. When he crosses my mind I feel sad but I feel much stronger now.

Although there are moments when I can’t help the tears especially when things around me bring vivid memories of him.

Like last night my kids were playing with their Dad. My little girl was walking on his back and saying that she’s giving him a massage. I remembered during our younger days when we would do the same. Tears fell from my eyes.

Just a while ago when we were watching one of our favorite comedy shows, if featured the 1980 something show called Knight Rider. I remembered the talking black car called KITT, that drove super fast, was bulletproof, fireproof, and helped Michael fought injustices in the world. It brought up some childhood memories. My siblings and I were fond of the super powered car that we named our family car, Kit. If I remember it right, our father even put up a moving light in front of our car pretending that we’re really driving Kit! Something like this:

Every morning, to wake up my kids, I put up the curtain and let the sunlight into our bedroom. I talk to them or sing to them just the way our old man did.

I know there will be more reminders along the way. One clear proof that our love ones continue to live…

 

 

Loving Each Moment

One of the perks of being a stay at home mom is just being there for them, when they’re not feeling well or when they’re just chilling out.

Sometimes I complain about the stress of raising kids especially when they fight a lot or when they’re being difficult.

I just say that. I know the the time will come when they will no longer need me and I will miss every moment they were little.

I will have all these memories when they were growing up.

It is a nice cold morning today.

 

Catching Up With Cindy Kurleto

Thanks to writing. I started to see through things clearly. I am able to look deep inside and know myself a little bit more. I have become aware of my existence, of the life around me, of living, of being human, and even of my greatest fear, death.

One of the many things I have come to realize is that my life is too short to be mad, sad, or miserable. I have to overcome these emotions as they exist. I have to find out an outlet, my passion, and do things that make me happy. I have learned that playing the flute and blogging are one my favorite things at this stage of my life!

Moreover, I also realized that it is important to surround myself with people and things that will make me grow, that will inspire me, and make me happy. People and things that give out positive vibes and make us realize more the kindness and beauty of life. We can not always choose 100% of the time but we can still do something.

Even in my social media account (Instagram), I only choose to follow people who inspire me. There are indeed a lot of great people around the globe, and I wish I have all the time to write about them.  These inspirations crossing my path are part of my journey. Thus, I recognize and appreciate them through writing.

For instance, I wrote about the flutist who inspires me to do better, Bevani. Please read about her and check her Youtube Channel (Bevani Flute). Now, it is my pleasure to feature this wonderful lady. I never knew her personally but when I was younger I saw her from TV commercials in the Philippines.She was a VJ, model, actress. She has one of the most beautiful faces in Philippine Television. Meet Cynthia or better known as Cindy Kurleto! I do not remember how I found her in Instagram but when I saw her, I left a comment on her post about how glad I was to see her. She responded and she was very nice to everyone. We found out that we have the same birthdays too (and year)! What struck me was seeing how she has found love and happiness in her private life now. She has left the world of show business to fulfill her destiny to be where she is right now, a loving wife and mother. So let’s catch up with Cindy! 

“Hi Khristine! First off let me thank you for even considering to feature me on your blog, an old “has been” like me, flatters me beyond believe, thanks! And kudos to you for doing what makes you happy by writing for your own blog. So let’s dive right into it, shall we?”How long did you do modelling/acting in the Philippines?

My modelling career actually started in Bangkok where I did a few TV commercials, quite funny ones, really, for shampoo and facial care etc. It was afterwards that I got work in Manila, first as a model, then TV host and VJ, and finally as an actress. All in all I stayed for a decade.

When and why did you leave Manila?

I left Manila, which partly broke my heart, in December 2007, to ironically follow my heart. I had found the person I never wanted to be without and he asked me to join him in his next chapter of life, which brought us to Peru, where we stayed for 8 years and also started our own little family.

Do you miss being a public figure? If yes, what are the things you miss about it?

I don’t miss being a public figure because it comes with its own golden cage, as you can surely imagine. When you’re a public figure you are confronted with thousands of opinions, which all mean well, but don’t have anything to do with the real you. It’s a lot of responsibility and also involves disappointment, because how does the old saying go? You can not please everyone.

Do you think of going back to show business?

I miss having a creative job, where you get to meet incredibly talented people in front of and behind the camera. Where each workday is different to the last. And of course it can also be quite glamorous at times, I’d be lying if I’d say I don’t miss that, as well. But would I ever go back to showbiz? Probably in a heartbeat, but rather behind the camera, maybe? 🙂 to be honest with you, I don’t know. One can’t want showbiz, it’s gotta want you.

You have been to many places now in your life. Will you share what countries/which places have you lived in?

Well I was born in Vienna, Austria which is a small land locked country in the heart of Europe. Many people visit surrounding countries like Prague and Switzerland, which are amazingly beautiful but I strongly urge you to give Vienna a chance, it won’t disappoint, I promise. As you follow me on instagram, let me invite you to take a look at some of the pics I post of Vienna.. it is a truly beautiful city.
And as I mentioned above, I have lived in Manila, Philippines and in Lima, Peru.

Because of my father’s health condition we have decided to move back to Vienna and have arrived here only a few months ago, in fact our container with all our stuff is scheduled to arrive in two weeks time (yay)

What place/country do you miss most?

I used to always miss my hometown, but since I’ve moved back now, I guess I miss the Philippines the most. The smell and sights, the people and the food. Even the heat.

What is your most favorite place?

My favourite place used to be Boracay but since it’s practically overrun with tourists and locals alike, and way too far away for me now- I’d have to say my favourite place is the caribbean island Barbados, where my partners father is from and still has family. We try to visit often. Another beautiful beach I like to visit is in Tulum, México. If you ever travel there go eat at the restaurant Hartwood!

Where is your home now? How is it living there?

My home will always be where the heart is that I love and that loves me back.
Together we have moved to Vienna now, where I’m from but have not lived for 18 years. I am as much a foreigner as I am a native, which makes for an interesting experience, to say the least. I love Vienna for its culture, its high standard of living and for the beautiful old architecture.

When I called Peru my home I especially loved it for its fresh produce and it’s love for good food. Many talented chefs come from Peru and I was lucky enough to take part in a few cooking classes.

You are a family woman now. How long have you been married? How many kids do you have now?

Shockingly- we have never married. I guess we’ve never lived anywhere close enough to family to consider a celebration. We have been a couple for almost 12 years now and have two beautiful daughters together. My partner is my best friend, the one person I never get tired speaking to, I crave his opinion and love making him proud. In fact I read this interview and my answers to him, if it sounds okay to his ears- it’s good to go.

Do you work or are you a full-time mom? What keeps Cindy busy everyday?

I am a full-time mom as my second daughter was just born 3 weeks ago. I gave birth in water (at a clinic) without any pain medication- which makes me incredibly proud! (but don’t think I had it planned that way, I would have gladly accepted something to ease the pain but was too late for that). Being a mother, going through all these changes and the process of it all is just amazing. I salute all mothers. Really from the depth of my heart.

My day looks very much like any new mothers day. Feed the baby, burp the baby, change diapers and put the baby to sleep and repeat.

How do you differentiate the public life and the private life now?

Let me admit right here that I hardly ever talk about my life in the public eye anymore. This took quite some adjustment since it covered a long period of my young adult life and has shaped me immensely. The thing is, people don’t like to hear “oh you know, when I was an actress,…” stuff like that makes other people secretly dislike you. For real. So I live my private life like everyone else, and totally disregard my former life in the public. Except for when I can sense that someone is genuinely interested. Then I delve in fun memories.

What do you enjoy most in your private life?

I am happy that I was able to build a private life. Coming back from showbiz is not an easy feat. Taking pleasure in simple things is the bigger picture, really. It’s the way forward. Understanding that giving my family happy memories to look back on is the real goal, not how many clothes, shoes, followers or how much fan mail I have.

We usually have plans/goals for ourselves. What do you have for yourself?

I just want to be healthy, so I can stay around with as much energy as ever, to do things with my kids. Go hiking, travel to the world’s big cities, stay up late to help them with homework, be there when they have their first child. I lost my mother at 20 and regret not having her by my side at this time in my life.

What is your personal philosophy at the moment?

This is no secret but it means nothing to those who have not experienced it for themselves, so believe me when I say:

To help others is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Thanks Cindy for taking the time to answer my questions. I wish you more love and happiness in your life. Keep shining. You are a reflection of beauty and an inspiration to women who value taking care of the family.

No problem, Tin. Thank you for asking such deep and inspirational questions.

The Bird Who Can’t Fly – Part Two

Yesterday afternoon, we let baby bird out. We were all hoping that he would fly away. Unfortunately it was still the same. It just stood there in front of us. He can’t fly.

Before night-time, we put it again in the little open box. We secured it making sure no predators could get it. I was alarmed since I saw a big cat and a rat somewhere on the wall. We live by the park so those creatures are free to go on the other side of the fence.

It was fun yesterday. My kids loved the baby bird. I took some photos of it. It is so adorable. Such a sweet little creation of God. We have been wishing that it will just be strong to fly high and be with its family.

This morning, I went to check on him but he was gone. The little baby bird was lying down with eyes closed. I could not look any more. I cried. I just realized the reason why I refuse to have pets. I am afraid of this feeling of loss. It reminded me of my Dad in the hospital. We gave him everything he needed to get better. The most expensive medicines each day. No matter how much you try to save the life, death is inevitable if the body is weak. It is just really extending the life. I just find it a comfort that at least the big cat, opossum, and rat did not get it.

I did not take a photo of it lifeless. I just want to  keep the good memories although they were short. Just like how I stopped and avoided looking at my Dad’s photos in the hospital.

Life is precious. It is a gift. Life is short. Enjoy each moment. Love with all your heart.

Here is the video I took of our baby bird the first day we found it. Bye baby bird… : (

 

 

Meet Bevani!

Most of us are fans of someone or something. We have our favorites!  Certain types of people and things appeal to us. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

And you are familiar with that fan mode feeling, right? The excitement, the joy, the inspiration they bring to us. It is sometimes overwhelming!

For those of you who have followed me, you know that I have started playing the flute again. Some twenty plus years ago, I had my summer lesson playing the flute. And after sometime, I just stopped. Now I am wondering  I could have been a very good musician now if I kept playing. But it’s okay. We all know that we can not go back to the past. All I have is NOW. I am just glad that I got back to playing 3 months ago. I just do self-study.  So far, I am enjoying it. I even put up a Youtube Channel (thehomemaker’smusic) just to compile my videos and to watch for improvements. My goal is to get better, enjoy the music and bring smiles to  my friends and family. And hopefully to other people too.

Going back to my previous thoughts, what would you feel if your “idol”, the person you’re considering as your role model/good example followed you back on Instagram? It was so funny when one night, I suddenly leaped and screamed for joy.  My favorite flutist just followed me back on Instagram (khris_79))!!! My husband and son were smiling and were very happy for me.  “Bevani followed me and she liked my video!”

 

There are so many great flutists around the globe. Amazing players I look up to. But something in Bevani I really liked. When I see her, I think of these words: Talented, Relevant, Vibrant, Confident, Expression, Emotions.

I am so proud and happy that I was able to get in touch with her and ask her questions. She was very gracious to respond. Below were the questions I asked and her responses (verbatim).

1. When did you first hold a flute? How old were you?

I was 7 years old.

2. Why flute?

My mom loved the sound of flute and thought it would be a good fit for me – she was right. I had a very good tone right from the start.

3. What or who influenced you to play the flute?

Like I said, my mom started me on the flute but my flute teacher kept me going. She was creative and patient and really encouraged me to continue to practice. I’ll admit there were lots of times I wanted to quit but she kept me on track in a kind way.

4.  Can you please briefly share your music education background?

I studied with Heidi Ehle fro 7-18 years old. During this time I participated in the local competitions. I began teaching flute lessons at 16 years old, which helped me walk my talk. I encouraged all my students to practice more which in turn helped me practice more. I joined the Seattle Youth Orchestra when I was a Sr. in High School and won the concerto competition within the orchestra. I performed this solo in Benaroya hall which had a big impact on me and gave me confidence to continue flute in college. I studied flute at University of Puget Sound with Karla Flygare 2004-2008. Then went to University of Santa Barbara California from 2008-2010. During these years of college study I participated in lots of master classes studying with famous flutist from around the world and competed in local competitions. I won the concerto competition at UPS and UCSB.

4. How many hours a day do you practice?

This has changed over the years – in college 2-3 almost every day. Now 1-2 almost every day but sometimes I take a week off.

5. Favorite piece/song you play 

Too many and I think it changes all the time. Sometime a good pop song is so enjoyable and sometime I need some French flute music or classical songs to keep my fingers and chops really engaged.

6. How do you see yourself in 5 years in terms of music?

A few more albums – hopefully another electronic original. I’ve always wanted to put Mozart with electronic beats, lots more music videos, teaching online lessons, performing at schools and inspiring kids. A tour in the U.S and Europe!

7. Advice on people like me who are aspiring to be good musicians.

Keep practicing – it takes time. Make clear goals. Track your improvement by recording yourself and practicing with a metronome. Find musicians that inspire you. Find a teacher you like. Play with other musicians. Learn from the numerous resources online and remember there are lots of way to be a musician. There is not one route so see if you can kind find ways to play music that inspires you.

You can visit her sites:

http://www.bevani.com/

Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/bevaniflute.

Facebook and Instagram: bevaniflute

Sharing with you my favorite video:

Birthday Message From Me

Thirty seven years ago.

Today I remember my parents who brought me out to this world and raised me, my family who made me whole, and God who gave me life.

I personally would like to thank all the people who took time to greet me. It is heartwarming, as we say it in Filipino (nakakataba ng puso) to read messages even from social media like Facebook. Just imagine each person taking time (just a few seconds) to type in their birthday greetings? It can be as simple as “HBD, Happy birthday or Enjoy your day”.  I super appreciate each thought! It means a lot to me. I feel very special on my birthday. Thank you from my heart!

I would just like to share. When I was younger, I was excited for my birthday. As a kid,  you look forward to gifts or parties. As the years went by, I felt different about it. I can say I feel a little scared because I know that I am aging. I know we should not look at it that way, but it seems like  each year I am  marching towards the end of my journey.  I am afraid to grow old. I am afraid of death. But you know what, I also feel like as years go by, it is like God is pulling me towards Him. I don’t know maybe it is the same for other people. Aging, growing old makes you reflect on the meaning of life, the meaning of existence. It is no longer about material things. It goes beyond it. My life. The people I love and care about.

For people who really know me, I am not so much into parties or big gatherings.   I love people and  I love my friends. But truly, I am really more of an introvert. My former boss (Dennis) said, today that I should do something fun. Fun for me is reading all my family and friends’ greetings. Writing about what I feel and maybe “fluting” later. I felt very inspired too that one of our school former teacher (who is now a conductor of an Orchestra) wished me a happy birthday. He told me to keep fluting! : )  It meant so much to me. Today I feel really special because my hubby took off from work and will just spend the day with me. He will take me out to lunch. Will also do something fun with the kids later. I told my children last night that they are my greatest birthday gifts ever!

One last thing. I wish to grow more in wisdom. I want to be more appreciative of each moment. I am not perfect and will never be. And this world isn’t too. We can not please everybody. That is one lesson I have learned. Some people still won’t like me. But some do love me!!!  And I guess growing in wisdom is like learning how to strike a balance, knowing your focus or priorities, and accepting some facts about living. Lastly, is giving your darn best to be good. Just be a good wife, a good mom, a good person.

Wishing you a happy life as well! Thank you for everything!!!

 

 

Promoting Values

Literally, every time I watch this commercial, tears flow from my eyes. No matter how many times I have seen it. It is funny how my children look at me or call me whenever it is on.

I guess I think about my daughter and my husband.  I think about my dad. I think about childhood and parenting. Children growing up. People growing old. I ponder on the cycle of life. Of how we all have common experiences in life. And no matter how sad or scary, we all have to go through it. And of course, never fail to see the happiness and beauty that also come with it.