Sibling Love

This afternoon, we visited a petting zoo close to our home. It was our second time there and my kids had so much fun as usual…

It is a typical fun place for families and one beautiful sight just caught my attention.Two baby goats napping under a tree. I thought they are siblings.

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It is inspiring.

It is pure.

It shows peace and love.

Beauty can truly be found around us.

Just keep the eyes and the hearts open.

Rainy Day

For some reasons I do not yet understand,  I have always been drawn to rainy days. It is indeed a pain bringing a child to school when the rain pours down as I carry a 2 year old and an umbrella on the other hand. But it delights me. The feel…the sound…the cloudy and gloomy skies. I love everything about it. When it is pouring down, I feel cozier.My mind relaxed. As I sip my beloved coffee on a rainy day.

Healing Wounds

I checked my old wound that has been hurting for years.

I think it has healed. It does not look fresh at all.

When I looked at the old photos, I do not feel trembling anymore due to strong emotions. My heart is not pounding hard at all. My breathing is steady. My soul longs for reconciliation, for forgiveness and love.

I feel the time has come… I am ready to face it anytime. The signs have been around. There are days when I feel so courageous. Maybe I have finally let go of the past.

It is true that TIME heals all wounds. No matter how long it takes. Maybe it is the natural course of life. Healing happens when you also remove yourself in the hurting situation. You distance yourself from it.  Distance, time, and hard work all help in the process of healing. Hard work for me is feeding your thoughts, your soul, your being with positivity, inspiration, understanding of self, others, humans, and LIFE. Then you will just know that you are okay. You are healed. You have moved on. And being scared, mad, afraid, is just a waste of your happy and beautiful life.

So if you are hurting or battling with something, know that you will be fine. You will wake up to a sunny day!

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This was our PRENUP photo taken by Louie Reformado

http://louiereformadophotography.blogspot.com/

Closing Poem

I am not sure what reminded me of this poem earlier, and it got stuck in my head. It is a very cute poem I remember from high school in my English Literature class. I must found it really nice since I can not forget it from more than two decades ago. When love was young…

Enjoy and sweetest dreams to everyone!!!!

Because You Kissed Me Good Night

by Sandy Roistan
I climbed the door
And opened the stairs
I said my pajamas
And put on my prayers
Then turned off my bed
And crawled into the light
All because you kissed me good-night

Next morning, I woke
And scrambled my shoes
Polished my eggs and
Toasted the news
I couldn’t tell my left from right
All cause you kissed me good-night.

That evening, at last,
I felt normal again
I called up my mother
and picked up the phone
I spoke to my puppy
And threw my dad a bone
Even at midnight
The sun was still bright
All because you kissed me good-night

I Learn From Children’s Books

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Having two little children has kept me abreast of kids’ stuff:  nice place for kids, TV shows, nursery rhymes, mobile applications/games, and of course books. I find delight in them. As my children learn and have fun, so do I!

Maybe some of you are already familiar with Pete the Cat. This is one of my favorites. I think it shares a great lesson to people of all ages. For those who have not heard of this, you can check out your local library or this YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9GRHNE1vI4&feature=youtu.be
The story is about Pete, the cat, who goes walking down the street wearing his brand new white shoes. Along the way, his shoes change from white to red to blue to brown to WET as he steps in piles of strawberries, blueberries, and other big messes! But no matter what color his shoes turn to, Pete keeps moving, grooving, and singing his song. This book is teaching the little children about colors, particularly colors of different foods and objects. Going deeper, I see a message even for grown ups. It shows us to have a positive outlook in life. This is what majority of my blogs talk about. No matter how messy life can get, we should not let ourselves be devoured by sadness, hopelessness, and fear.  We have to lift ourselves up or help someone else. Just keep going no matter what happens to you in life. Keep fighting the fight, facing each challenge, being the best that we can be whenever, wherever. We are just passing through life. Let us cherish the times we are alive. We aim to be happy and try to be positive.
No matter what you step in, keep walking along and singing your song…because it’s all good.
Enjoy the rest of your day, the rest of the week!
pete the cat
Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes is an American children’s picture book written by Eric Litwin and illustrated by James Dean, first published in 2008. Wikipedia

Today’s Prayer

Dearest God,

I do not usually pray online. But I am sure, you don’t mind at all.

This is going to be short.

Please bless us all, especially whoever is reading this right now.

May we find solace in writing and reading our fellow humans’ thoughts and emotions.

You have given us the opportunity to live and see your amazing creations!

Help us to focus on the beauty and all the blessings we  have right now.

Please help us understand  that pain, trials & challenges are part of it all.

Give us the  strength of mind, body, and spirit to surpass every affliction.

To be brave, strong, and never lose hope.

Help us to have the right perspective of things

To be free from anxiety, worries and heartaches

To have peace of mind and be happy

To do what is right and just

Help us to live each day in your grace.

May you fill us up with Your love

May this love overflows within us to the people around us and to the whole world!

Amen.

Lessons To Live By

It is the start of 2015. It is a new beginning. I thought I was not going to write some new year’s resolution, but I guess I am. I can not think of a term, but I want to see it more as a new commitment, some lessons to remember to help me live a better life. A better life for me means less anxiety, less worry, less heartaches but more peaceful, more positive, and happier.

I came to realize that this year, I will try to incorporate into my system some important lessons to live by. I am writing this not because I am an expert on the field, but because I am trying to learn how to live life to the fullest. As I said, writing is a very powerful tool in introspection.

I intend to do/keep in mind the following:

1. BE HEALTHIER

I am not getting any younger, I decided to lose weight and be healthier. I will try to exercise at least 10 minutes a day. I will eat healthier (most of the time). I should not make “being busy”  or too tired taking care of the house and the kids as an excuse not to exercise. This morning I checked YouTube videos for exercises I can do at home. I loved this HIIT Cardio: 10 minutes (by momsintofitness).  Oh my, I was so out of shape. I was getting exhausted and my legs were hurting. I am committing myself to do it everyday.

2. UNDERSTAND SOME UNIVERSAL TRUTH OR LAWS OF NATURE (Being Present, Change, Pain)

The second important commitment I should make is more difficult to do. It takes a lot of internalization. I want to change the way I think. I want to change how I perceive life and living. I have to learn how to cope up. As the saying goes, change the way you think and the world around you changes. I believe if I achieve this understanding and it has become a part of me, then I can live life to its fullest. Finally,  begin to see the world as it really is.

My previous blogs talked about my fear, anxiety, hatred, death, living life, way to happiness, and the lessons I want my kids to learn. I also mentioned one of the reasons why I write is that I am on search for something. I came across this book and I realized that it somehow sums up or incorporates everything I wrote about in my other blogs. I deeply want to share this with others, hoping that  there is something good and useful to be found from this reading. All the quotes were lifted from the book Meditation for Beginners by Jack Kornfield.

2.1 MINDFULNESS

I will strive to train myself to be MINDFUL. I want to achieve a Quiet mind, open heart and steady spirit.  “Mindfulness helps train us to be more present and alive. The art of living… is neither careless drifting on the one hand nor fearful clinging to the past… the truth that is right where we are when we let go of fantasies and memories and come into the reality of the present.” This means being sensitive to each moment of our life. It means being more present and more awake, more appreciating of THE PRESENT. “The present moment is the only game in town and if we miss this moment it will be gone forever.” I should not waste my time worrying about the future, dreaming about the past or being enslaved by bad memories and emotions.  Now is important. I should learn to let go.

I mentioned from my old post (Way To Happiness) Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a dream. Today is a gift. So live TODAY, be present.

2.2 NOTHING IS PERMANENT BUT CHANGE

Law of nature: “Things are impermanent, that attachment causes pain. We need to learn how to flow with the changes, to see everything as a process of change, to relax with uncertainty. We need to learn how to let go, how to stay centered in the midst of change”.  I mentioned in my previous blog my fear of death. I can not imagine losing a loved one or the thought of dying. I tend to be attached to the people or to something I love (which I think is very natural). We have to understand that ” We do not actually own our bodies but rather we just inhabit them for a short time, and during that time they will change by themselves, regardless of what we want to happen.”

A few nights ago, my husband and I watched the movie, Boyhood. There was one scene that struck me. As the son, Mason,  prepares to leave his mother’s new apartment for college, Olivia (the mother) breaks down, saying she is disillusioned by how fast life has flown by, and claims there is nothing left in her life but her death.

“Nothing in our lives lasts or stays the same for very long. Everything is changing all the time.” As the book says, “Trying to hold onto ‘how it was’ will only create suffering and disappointment, because life is a river and everything changes… We create a huge amount of suffering if we are attached to things staying the same, we realize that relaxing and letting go is a wiser way to live…”

“When we realize everything passes away, not only the good things but the painful things as well.”  So when challenges or trial comes, just remember that it too shall pass. Let the storm rage on as the song in the movie Frozen says.

2.3 PAIN IS PART OF LIVING

“Gain and loss, praise and blame, pain and pleasure are part of the dance of life, given to each of us, born into our human body”. 
This reminds me to embrace not just the good but also the bad side of life, the unlikable people who caused you pain. They are still part of this world and there is nothing I can do to push them away. Why do I have to stress out on something or someone I can not prevent or change?

“The truth is that things change whether we want them to or not. Becoming attached to things as they are or pushing things away that we do not like does not stop them from changing. It only leads to further suffering.”

Lesson 4 and 5 are from my old post (Way To Happiness)

3. THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON

Every circumstance in our lives (both good and bad) are necessary for us to be where we are right now. There is a reason for every event, every encounter with people who walk on our path.

4. BE THE BEST THAT WE CAN BE WHEREVER WE ARE

Bloom where God planted you. You are special. You are blessed. Refrain from comparing yourself with others. You will either find yourself  superior or inferior.  In relation to this, I have also learned that we can not please everybody. If we do, we will only be stressed out. Do what you think is best for you and your family not what others think is best. In the end, it is you who goes through it not them!  You are special. You are blessed.

It looks a lot. We may get overwhelmed by these reminders. It can take a lot of work and discipline to change the way we think. But I believe it is worth a try!

Good luck to us! Life is short, we will only be here once, let us make the most out of it and live a happy life!

learn-to-surf

The Cycle of Life

On Life

Today is a very special day for our family. My sister is giving birth to a beautiful princess. In fact, she is still in the hospital. It’s been hours, and she is still in labor. How I wish I can just teleport, fly across the Pacific Ocean, and witness the joy when the baby finally comes out. I am so thrilled for them. I am sure every member of the family is excited to meet and greet the new addition to the family. It is amazing how we share the same fate. Both of us started with the labor signs/pains on the 17th, admitted to the hospital on the 18th. We were both in labor the whole day and night. The babies would not come out still. All the epidural, the pain, so unbearable! In the end, we both needed to have C-sections. Both babies born on the 19th! (But mine of course happened 6 years ago)

This is it! I know that it will change them. It will change their lives forever. Just like how having kids has changed mine. My children have given more meaning to my existence, more meaning to my life. Now, I have a purpose and a reason to live.

On Death

When I was younger, I did not give much thought about death. I finished college, had my Master’s degree, found a fulfilling career. I got promoted, had my own office and I loved my job. Moreover, I was able to travel to different places, my favorite was the Europe trip with my parents. Visited the United States too and went to different vacation spots in the Philippines. I remembered me saying to myself, “I have been blessed. I can die now.” But it all changed when I married and started my own family. Now, I am terrified when I think about death! (My death or losing a loved one)

My 6 year old has been asking questions about death: when, why people die, where people go when they die, what happens to the body, etc. I try to give him a simple explanation since the questions are NEVER ending. As a Catholic, I know we all go to heaven (this is what I tell my son). At the back of my head, I am also thinking of other explanations as to what happens when someone dies. Maybe we are like the energy transferred to one form into another. Or maybe, when we die that is the end of it. Nothing else. Blank. Black. No more.

I always ask God to grant us (me and my  husband) a long life, at least until we are both 90 years of age. I want to see my children grow, finish school, get a job that they love, find the love of their lives, have their own family.  Surely, I would love to play with my grandchildren!

So holding on to dear life! Appreciate every waking moment.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

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Christmas time is in the air again! You will definitely know it because of these: busy stores, people shopping for gifts (I do mine online. It is hard with the kids!), Christmas trees, colorful ornaments, holiday decor, mistletoe, Christmas wreaths, socks for the tree, peppermint, hot cocoa, elves and nutcracker soldiers (my favorites),  sweaters, jingle bells, and jolly Christmas songs. It is all wonderful! This is one of the children’s favorite holidays because Santa is going to give them presents. We savor the magic and spirit of Christmas.

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This year is better for me. I am happier. I was struggling (emotionally) with something through the years. Now I am free, the more that I aim to give my children the holidays and traditions they will never forget. I am more focused. I desire to build happy childhood memories for them. I want them to have a better life. My childhood was not perfect. My memories of Christmas is just fine. We had a unique family set up and it made a lot of things complicated. Maybe I will share this to you one of these days. I am just saying that we all have our journeys, our struggles in the past. Now, we have the chance to focus on the present. We make the best out of NOW with eyes hopeful for the future. Especially this time of love and sharing, we try to remember all the good things in life.

It is one tradition that my husband and I made. This is our second year. We buy fresh pine tree the week after Thanksgiving. We enjoy its presence and its smell in the house. With our kids, we decorate it. We want to keep it simple and fun. We found some chocolate balls they sell in COSTCO now. These are colorful and very pretty. I hang it on the tree but our toddler kept on eating them, and she won’t stop. She started crying when we won’t give her some more! She wanted to get them all. In the end, we had to take all the Christmas balls down from the tree (edible and glass). We will have to skip it for this year. We have three more weeks left before Christmas! Enjoy with your loved ones!

A Mother’s Heart