Not All People Are Nice

As a Mom, I wish to shield my children from the negativity of this world. However, I know that this is not possible!

So I change my strategy. As I guide them, I would  talk to them about some bitter realities of life. Of course, I try to soften it. I want them to be prepared. To be ready. I wish to equip them with skills that will help them survive, succeed, and live a happy life.

Relationships enormously affect us. I tell my kids, when people are born, they are nice. We are all like angels. But as we all go through our lives, a lot of factors come in (environment, family, health etc.) and they affect/shape the person. As I explain this to my 8-year-old, he quickly said, “Yes Mommy but each person can choose if they want to be good or bad.”

The fact is NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE NICE. That is another sad reality of life.

Some people may not be nice to your face at all, and some people can even stab you at the back.

I tell my kids, DO NOT LET OTHERS’ COMMENTS DEFINE OR AFFECT YOU.

Only focus on the people and things that will make you better and happy. Stay away from the negative people/things that pull you down.  THERE IS NO PLEASING EVERYBODY. At times you are already doing everything that you can with all good intentions. And people can still say hurtful things about you (at your face or on your back).

As long as you know that YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN AT THE MOMENT and YOU THINK A MILLION TIMES ABOUT YOUR DECISION OR CHOICE before you act on it, then YOU SHOULD HAVE NO REGRETS and HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. You’ll see.

PRAY A LOT too and always ASK FOR WISDOM AND STRENGTH. There is definitely a God who sees through our hearts.

It  can be a cruel world, full of struggles and challenges as it is also filled with so many beautiful things.

It is a blessing to live, and we must have the right perspective in order to enjoy this gift!

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Peaceful Mind

I feel my soul has evolved

It has matured and grown

After I have overcome my fears

After I have let go of the hatred in my being.

Forgiveness is indeed possible!

Forgiving oneself and the people who hurt you

But It would only require time

Time away and time to heal

It is never easy

But is worth a try.

One’s effort to help oneself is the next important thing

Train the mind and teach it to be open to forgiveness

Feed your mind with positivity

Be open to certain wisdom that aid in one’s survival

Feed your soul with prayers and hope

Be accepting of the realities of life

and that of being alive,

and being human.

We all make mistakes. We are not perfect.

So do not be too harsh on yourself or with others.

Take it all in. All emotions that you feel.

They are all but indications that you are alive!

Life is short. Life is delicate. It is frail.

Let us do our best not to spend our moments

worrying, being afraid, or feeling hatred.

We have to strive to see the light.

To seek enlightenment and be better and happy.

Yes, we often hear these lessons

And it is easier said than done

But believe me, what they say is true

Human kindness truly work.

Go through the process

Be brave and strong

Hold on to those lessons…

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We Are In A Battlefield

Every morning when I bring my son to school, there is an old man standing by the gate. He is there to keep his granddaughter company while waiting for the bell to ring. I found out that they just moved in here (He was from India) and the little girl was new in school.  We would always smile at each other and engage in some conversations. After dropping of the kids in school, I usually see him walk around the block.

Since last week we were walking to school too. The weather has been nice and I need to exercise! This morning, the old man was walking behind us. His name is Hussein. We talked for a while. For just a couple of minutes, he shed his wisdom.

I do not know what we were talking about. But I remember he suddenly told me, “Do not be scared of anything”. And I paused. I told him his message is just what I needed to hear. It is perfect timing.

I believe in our life, God or the Universe help us along the way. The higher power gives you signs and messages even through other people. He continued,  “Life is a battlefield. You should be a fighter!” I recently asked my doctor to give me a prescription refill of Xanax for anxiety. I did not take it before, bottle was unopened since I was nursing my girl. I thought I would need it now. But after talking to the old man, I told myself, I will be a fighter. I will not need it anymore. I will go through whatever I need to feel. I will deal with it. It is all in the mind.

He is saying always think that you can do things. Positive thinking. Power of the Mind. Training the Mind.  Never be afraid. Even if others hurt you or are jealous, be happy. God (or I think he said Allah) will take care of you and will raise you up.

I asked him his religion since he was talking about Hindu teachings and Allah. He said he is Muslim. And we agreed on one thing. People should stop creating divisions among people. We all know different Gods but to look beyond it all, there is really just One Creator.

He talked about other things I see as very insightful/deep. And these little seeds, I continue to plot in my heart. These good things in life are free. They will grow and help me along my journey. And I intend to give these important seeds to my children as well. I just hope I will be a very good example.

Well, I am glad to have spoken to him.

Have a wonderful day everyone, or good night/sweet dreams to my brothers and sisters on the other side of the globe!

Waves of Life

I tried resisting the waves

And I got very tired

I think I almost drowned

But people came to save…

Why do I always do that

Though I know I’ll never win?

I know I am hard headed

I know I never learn.

Well I think it subsided now

It seems calm around

I will float in the meantime

And get ready for the next one

The next time it comes crashing

I know I should not fight it

I have to learn how to deal with it

Play along and go with the flow

As how my head knows

That is how life goes

Play along and go with the flow

Til I can happily swim again.

Lessons To Live By

It is the start of 2015. It is a new beginning. I thought I was not going to write some new year’s resolution, but I guess I am. I can not think of a term, but I want to see it more as a new commitment, some lessons to remember to help me live a better life. A better life for me means less anxiety, less worry, less heartaches but more peaceful, more positive, and happier.

I came to realize that this year, I will try to incorporate into my system some important lessons to live by. I am writing this not because I am an expert on the field, but because I am trying to learn how to live life to the fullest. As I said, writing is a very powerful tool in introspection.

I intend to do/keep in mind the following:

1. BE HEALTHIER

I am not getting any younger, I decided to lose weight and be healthier. I will try to exercise at least 10 minutes a day. I will eat healthier (most of the time). I should not make “being busy”  or too tired taking care of the house and the kids as an excuse not to exercise. This morning I checked YouTube videos for exercises I can do at home. I loved this HIIT Cardio: 10 minutes (by momsintofitness).  Oh my, I was so out of shape. I was getting exhausted and my legs were hurting. I am committing myself to do it everyday.

2. UNDERSTAND SOME UNIVERSAL TRUTH OR LAWS OF NATURE (Being Present, Change, Pain)

The second important commitment I should make is more difficult to do. It takes a lot of internalization. I want to change the way I think. I want to change how I perceive life and living. I have to learn how to cope up. As the saying goes, change the way you think and the world around you changes. I believe if I achieve this understanding and it has become a part of me, then I can live life to its fullest. Finally,  begin to see the world as it really is.

My previous blogs talked about my fear, anxiety, hatred, death, living life, way to happiness, and the lessons I want my kids to learn. I also mentioned one of the reasons why I write is that I am on search for something. I came across this book and I realized that it somehow sums up or incorporates everything I wrote about in my other blogs. I deeply want to share this with others, hoping that  there is something good and useful to be found from this reading. All the quotes were lifted from the book Meditation for Beginners by Jack Kornfield.

2.1 MINDFULNESS

I will strive to train myself to be MINDFUL. I want to achieve a Quiet mind, open heart and steady spirit.  “Mindfulness helps train us to be more present and alive. The art of living… is neither careless drifting on the one hand nor fearful clinging to the past… the truth that is right where we are when we let go of fantasies and memories and come into the reality of the present.” This means being sensitive to each moment of our life. It means being more present and more awake, more appreciating of THE PRESENT. “The present moment is the only game in town and if we miss this moment it will be gone forever.” I should not waste my time worrying about the future, dreaming about the past or being enslaved by bad memories and emotions.  Now is important. I should learn to let go.

I mentioned from my old post (Way To Happiness) Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a dream. Today is a gift. So live TODAY, be present.

2.2 NOTHING IS PERMANENT BUT CHANGE

Law of nature: “Things are impermanent, that attachment causes pain. We need to learn how to flow with the changes, to see everything as a process of change, to relax with uncertainty. We need to learn how to let go, how to stay centered in the midst of change”.  I mentioned in my previous blog my fear of death. I can not imagine losing a loved one or the thought of dying. I tend to be attached to the people or to something I love (which I think is very natural). We have to understand that ” We do not actually own our bodies but rather we just inhabit them for a short time, and during that time they will change by themselves, regardless of what we want to happen.”

A few nights ago, my husband and I watched the movie, Boyhood. There was one scene that struck me. As the son, Mason,  prepares to leave his mother’s new apartment for college, Olivia (the mother) breaks down, saying she is disillusioned by how fast life has flown by, and claims there is nothing left in her life but her death.

“Nothing in our lives lasts or stays the same for very long. Everything is changing all the time.” As the book says, “Trying to hold onto ‘how it was’ will only create suffering and disappointment, because life is a river and everything changes… We create a huge amount of suffering if we are attached to things staying the same, we realize that relaxing and letting go is a wiser way to live…”

“When we realize everything passes away, not only the good things but the painful things as well.”  So when challenges or trial comes, just remember that it too shall pass. Let the storm rage on as the song in the movie Frozen says.

2.3 PAIN IS PART OF LIVING

“Gain and loss, praise and blame, pain and pleasure are part of the dance of life, given to each of us, born into our human body”. 
This reminds me to embrace not just the good but also the bad side of life, the unlikable people who caused you pain. They are still part of this world and there is nothing I can do to push them away. Why do I have to stress out on something or someone I can not prevent or change?

“The truth is that things change whether we want them to or not. Becoming attached to things as they are or pushing things away that we do not like does not stop them from changing. It only leads to further suffering.”

Lesson 4 and 5 are from my old post (Way To Happiness)

3. THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON

Every circumstance in our lives (both good and bad) are necessary for us to be where we are right now. There is a reason for every event, every encounter with people who walk on our path.

4. BE THE BEST THAT WE CAN BE WHEREVER WE ARE

Bloom where God planted you. You are special. You are blessed. Refrain from comparing yourself with others. You will either find yourself  superior or inferior.  In relation to this, I have also learned that we can not please everybody. If we do, we will only be stressed out. Do what you think is best for you and your family not what others think is best. In the end, it is you who goes through it not them!  You are special. You are blessed.

It looks a lot. We may get overwhelmed by these reminders. It can take a lot of work and discipline to change the way we think. But I believe it is worth a try!

Good luck to us! Life is short, we will only be here once, let us make the most out of it and live a happy life!

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