It’s Your Birthday

After we dropped off my son to school, my baby girl and I swung by the store and got a balloon. She picked a purple balloon shaped as a heart. We headed to the church and said a prayer. I found a petition book close to the altar and started writing my prayer for today.

I said, “Dear God please kiss my dad for me and wish him a happy birthday. Tell him we miss him everyday and we love him. May our love see him through. I will see you someday.” I could not help the tears when I was writing my prayer. This is his first birthday in heaven. His presence is truly missed. I remembered telling him last Father’s Day (in June) that I will come for his birthday this year. And I will never forget how he said “Ok, I’ll be here. I’ll be here.” I was heart broken because I am thinking I should have gone see him last year. If I had known it would be his last. I guess I have to just let that one go.

Came home after church. I cooked a Filipino meal which is usually served when there are parties. This afternoon I will cook Pancit Bihon and try to bake some Puto Yema. Most importantly, a candle was lit for him. Our thoughts are with him. Prayers are said for him.

Eternal rest grant unto the soul of Hermoso Tan Lazaro and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul rest in peace…

 

The Last Moments

Once again, I just realized something last night. After I put the kids to sleep, I sat down on the couch to have a little quiet time. My eyes gazed upon the pictures of these men from the little corner of our room.

From the left is my father-in-law and then my dad. It was just last night that I realized that I was the last family member to see them before they both passed away. So it feels weird and more sad to know that I witnessed their last moments.

It was afternoon. I was home with my father-in-law, and my husband was still at work. I was in the living room and he told me that he was going out to get those gallons of water from a nearby store. He had a little pushing cart with him. It was passed 2pm so I told him why not wait for his son so he did not have to walk?  It was April 24, 2007. He said it was fine and besides, he needed to exercise. He told me he was going to go through the back door, and then he left. And at passed 3pm, he had an accident on the road and that was his end.

As for my Dad, for those of you who have not read my recent blogs, he just passed away two months ago. And with his passing, I wrote quite a few things about the experience and about him (you can check this entry: 14 day journey). Last August 4, 2015 (Tuesday) he had to undergo Tracheostomy. A tracheostomy is a surgery to make a hole in your neck that goes into your windpipe. He needed a  tracheostomy since he was on a breathing machine (ventilator) for a long time. They needed to remove the intubator that was attached to him for two weeks to prevent further infections. I was informed that I should follow down to the operating room. I was there waiting outside. I was praying and thinking about him that finally, he would be relieved to get that thing off him. I waited and finally the doctor called me in to tell me that the procedure was done and everything was fine. I was so relieved. I waited until I saw him and the nurses pushing his bed. They had to give him Oxygen since he was depending on the breathing machine. They took the elevator and I took the stairs to meet them at the Intensive Care Unit. He was unconscious and I was watching him. The nurse was checking everything. She told me to rest and everything is stable with my dad. I sent text messages to my siblings to tell them that the procedure was successful and we can all go to sleep. I think it was around 10:30pm. Then after one hour, it was the end of his dear life.

For sure I will never forget these last moments…

Grieve

Every night I stay up an hour or two

Just thinking about you …