A Queen’s Day

She cooked a Filipino dish called Mechado. They all sat at the table. They enjoyed the meal and the family conversations.

She finished washing the dishes and cleaning up the table. She rested on a blue couch by a big bright window overlooking the pine trees and the colorful flowers outside.

The boy rushed towards her with a blanket and a pillow. He said “Rest, Mom”. The little girl came with a throw pillow. She put it under her Mother’s feet. She had a big smile on her face as they greeted her “Happy Mother’s Day!” They gave her a bag of Goldfish crackers in case she got hungry and a tablet if she wanted to play a game. She put it beside her and said her thank you’s. The boy was trying to be extra nice. He shared his Hi-Chew candy and fed one to his Mom. The little girl had her harmonica and played for her too. After playing a beautiful music, she read a story to her Mom. The book’s title was Pinkalicious and the Perfect Present. The story was just fitting for the occasion. It was about the girl looking for a perfect present for her Mom.

She got some shut-eye. On that day she felt like a queen. When she got up, her husband and daughter baked some goodies for everyone. She ate it and drank her favorite coffee. The rest of the afternoon was spent gardening while the kids enjoyed colorful sidewalk chalks, blowing bubbles, riding the scooter and playing with each other.

It was a memorable Mother’s Day!

 

Mother & Son

Being a parent means having this very important responsibility of raising good people.  It is a lifetime mission. We take care of them, provide for all their needs (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), and guide them through life.

Being a parent is not always easy. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get frustrated. We worry. We get disappointed.  In every stage, we face different challenges from waking up late at night to change their diapers or disciplining them in their early childhood days. It can be a lot of work. I say,  having a child  is truly life changing. It is a blessing and at the same time a sacrifice, an act of great love.

What inspired me to write? Earlier, I got into a small fight with my 9-year-old. It might sound petty to others but it meant something to me.

He was so distracted with his gadgets that he would find it hard to pay attention and listen to what I’m saying. Usually I have to repeat A LOT OF TIMES what I have to say to him. And this can be exhausting. I always pray for patience and understanding. It has been a challenge for me nowadays because they are on summer break.  Everyday, I have to set  a time limit with regard to the use of the gadgets. My son and I usually argue about this.  I manage their activities, making sure they read, write, draw, and do something else besides video gaming. I have to take them out of the house too for a swim or stroll at the park.

I lost my temper. I raised my voice. I had to be stern. What irritated me most was the talking back. He was reasoning out when clearly he was wrong. And it broke my heart to see him so mad at me. I sent him to his room for a time out. No TV. No gadgets. I said he needed to be alone and be quiet.

I was worried. I was thinking maybe he would grow up hating me because I would always discipline him. Then I felt sad. I was sorry for saying some things that could have hurt his feelings. I felt bad. I know I am not a perfect person. Definitely not a perfect mom.

I thought of writing him a letter. Just to assure him that I love him. And that whatever we are doing is for his own good. I was about to write him a note when he came out of his room and went to me. He handed me a paper. And saw this …

It melted my heart. I just hugged him for a very long time. I cried quietly. I was relieved. Maybe I am doing the right thing. I did not have to remind him that I love him. He knows. We talked about what happened and the things he learned from it.

He told me to keep this paper and I said I will.

 

 

 

 

 

Loving Each Moment

One of the perks of being a stay at home mom is just being there for them, when they’re not feeling well or when they’re just chilling out.

Sometimes I complain about the stress of raising kids especially when they fight a lot or when they’re being difficult.

I just say that. I know the the time will come when they will no longer need me and I will miss every moment they were little.

I will have all these memories when they were growing up.

It is a nice cold morning today.

 

Not All People Are Nice

As a Mom, I wish to shield my children from the negativity of this world. However, I know that this is not possible!

So I change my strategy. As I guide them, I would  talk to them about some bitter realities of life. Of course, I try to soften it. I want them to be prepared. To be ready. I wish to equip them with skills that will help them survive, succeed, and live a happy life.

Relationships enormously affect us. I tell my kids, when people are born, they are nice. We are all like angels. But as we all go through our lives, a lot of factors come in (environment, family, health etc.) and they affect/shape the person. As I explain this to my 8-year-old, he quickly said, “Yes Mommy but each person can choose if they want to be good or bad.”

The fact is NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE NICE. That is another sad reality of life.

Some people may not be nice to your face at all, and some people can even stab you at the back.

I tell my kids, DO NOT LET OTHERS’ COMMENTS DEFINE OR AFFECT YOU.

Only focus on the people and things that will make you better and happy. Stay away from the negative people/things that pull you down.  THERE IS NO PLEASING EVERYBODY. At times you are already doing everything that you can with all good intentions. And people can still say hurtful things about you (at your face or on your back).

As long as you know that YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN AT THE MOMENT and YOU THINK A MILLION TIMES ABOUT YOUR DECISION OR CHOICE before you act on it, then YOU SHOULD HAVE NO REGRETS and HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. You’ll see.

PRAY A LOT too and always ASK FOR WISDOM AND STRENGTH. There is definitely a God who sees through our hearts.

It  can be a cruel world, full of struggles and challenges as it is also filled with so many beautiful things.

It is a blessing to live, and we must have the right perspective in order to enjoy this gift!

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m A Stay-At-Home Mom. Got A Problem With That?”

My hands are tired. As soon as I was done with my work, I had to sit down and write this down.

I just finished with my general cleaning in the kitchen. From the fridge to the freezer, to the tiles, cabinets and floor. Scrubbing. Mopping. Add all other details that has to do with the inside of each drawer and cabinet.

A lingering thought suddenly crossed my mind. I hold no grudge on these people but to be honest, their remarks annoys me very well.

This post is for all the stay-at-home moms like me. Sometimes we are called housewife, full-time mom, home-maker and others.

When I stopped going to work (the one where you get paid money), I had to focus on my growing son. Then followed by another baby girl. So I have been out of the work force for five years and 7 months now. When a cousin found out that I stopped working to take care of my child, he teasingly said “Wow, Doña.” In the Philippines, when somebody said that you’re a Doña, it means you’re rich and you’re living like a Queen. I do not remember how I responded to him but I can not forget that remark until now.

Another incident was when I brought my first grader to school while tagging my little girl along. This is a common sight in school. Moms with their  little ones  dropping off and picking up their older kids to school. Rain or Shine. Through the years,  I bonded with other full time moms too. And sometimes we would be in a group. As I and some other moms were approaching, a  friend who was a nurse jokingly told our other friend, “Eto na ang mga walang trabaho!” In English, it means “Here comes the ones who don’t work/jobless!” What did that suppose to mean? Of course it was petty. We did not have to confront her.

What are these remarks? I usually  hear people asking about what job I do since I had a Master’s Degree in Psychology. And when they hear that  I am a home-maker, one of the common reactions is “Wow, sarap!” In English something like “Wow, you’re lucky”.

I will be straightforward here. Yes, I am lucky because of one thing. I get to be hands on with my children. I see them grow each day. I personally take care of them. I am lucky because I now my kids feel secured and confident that I am there when they need me. A couple of instances my son was brought to the school clinic, in two minutes I am there to pick him up.  Child care is a lot of work especially when you have babies, toddlers, or preschoolers. It is more work if you have two or three or more kids. With the demand for constant attention, and responding to different needs, you have to have all the energy and patience in the world.

Home care is another thing.

Yes I will feel like a queen if I have a helper in the house. Or have someone else do all the daily chores inside and out of the house. Keeping the house clean and in order is an everyday thing. It actually feels like never ending. I even have a list of things to do for my home projects just like when I was going to a regular job where I got paid.

Yes I will feel like a Doña if I have a cook to take care of breakfast, lunch and dinner, a driver to bring my kids to school and to pick them up, a tutor to teach my children or a nanny to give them a bath and other things that they need.

I do not have all these help, and I do not get paid for every single thing that I do. I do not complain (sometimes to my husband), I feel happy that I am given this mission right now. It is all labor of love. Mind you, I do not just sit in the house and  have idle times. I do not sleep in the daytime because time flies and there are lots of things to do. But sometimes I need to recharge and have a break too. So I play the flute for a while or I write.

This is just a glimpse of what we do. This is the life of  a home-maker, a full-time mom, a house wife. I am not saying that we are better than moms who go out and work (the one you get paid money). They have different challenges too. I was once working out of the house.  I am just hoping that others will be enlightened that even if we are at home, WE ARE WORKING TOO!

Kudos to all women, to all mothers.

Now nap time is over for my girl. Have to wrap up my chores and time to get ready for school : )

 

What Makes You Happy?

The other day I was all smiles

They delivered my new pet.

Zooming around the house,

I was singing in joy while pushing it around.

I felt very happy…

When I was a little girl I was thrilled with gifts like toys or new clothes

I felt equally the same when I got my new cleaning vacuum : )

 

This morning I had a “disciplining” moment with my boy

Just right before he went to school.

I do not like feeling mad and sad.

I felt my chest so tight.

And to relieve the stress

I started moving the furniture around.

My little girl asked, “Mommy why are you moving stuff?”

She was jumping on the couch and having a great time.

I rearranged the living room and gave it a different look!

 

Now I feel recharged.

I believe I am really getting old…

Vacuum and rearranging the house?

I feel it was unleashing my creativity.

 

Now I feel happy again.

Blabbering Mind

A friend visited me last year. He was my Professor from College until in the Graduate School. He works now in a University here in the US. He was even one of my mentors when I did my paper.  With God’s help, I was able to finish the degree Master of Science in Psychology Major in Psychological Measurement. and I was able to do work for seven years related to the field.

So when I got married and started a family,  there have been changes. I joke about it a lot with my husband. I tell him that I have the best education/career ever. Master of Science in Child Rearing and Housekeeping! And I have been an Administrator for years now running a house from food, to clothes, family schedules, child education, and everything! For free! (except when I go online shopping).

Seriously, when I see posts from social media how some of my friends have advanced in their careers, I ask myself how do I feel about myself. Yes sometimes I would imagine how I would be like if I chose a different path. Then I would ask are we here because of our choice or we are just destined to be where we are right now… or a combination of both?

I believe that one should just do his/her best each time, in every moment or chapter of life. And try to appreciate the now, where you are right now. It is true that when you count your blessings and appreciate all that you have, you will feel happy. Contented.

There is always a reason to smile.

Discipline Challenge

For me, one of the most difficult challenges in parenting is imposing discipline on children.

I do not know how my parents did it. But I guess I turned out okay.  How do you really do it?  Raising good people.

I noticed that starting at age 6 (now he is 7), I am indeed tested in my ability to discipline a growing boy. Sometimes I am not sure if I am doing it right. All I know is I am doing my best to make him learn and understand things/situation given his natural temperament, his personality, intellect, and other factors that affect his learning. Sometimes it is stressful, draining my energy, makes me worried that he might dislike or hate me for reprimanding him. Generally he is a good and sweet boy. But there are really moments that he is getting on my nerves. I know it is part of raising children.  So help me God. And to all parents out there…Good luck and God bless!

photo credit:pixgood.com

I Learn From Children’s Books

Having two little children has kept me abreast of kids’ stuff:  nice place for kids, TV shows, nursery rhymes, mobile applications/games, and of course books. I find delight in them. As my children learn and have fun, so do I!

Maybe some of you are already familiar with Pete the Cat. This is one of my favorites. I think it shares a great lesson to people of all ages. For those who have not heard of this, you can check out your local library or this YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9GRHNE1vI4&feature=youtu.be

The story is about Pete, the cat, who goes walking down the street wearing his brand new white shoes. Along the way, his shoes change from white to red to blue to brown to WET as he steps in piles of strawberries, blueberries, and other big messes! But no matter what color his shoes turn to, Pete keeps moving, grooving, and singing his song. This book is teaching the little children about colors, particularly colors of different foods and objects. Going deeper, I see a message even for grown ups. It shows us to have a positive outlook in life. This is what majority of my blogs talk about. No matter how messy life can get, we should not let ourselves be devoured by sadness, hopelessness, and fear.  We have to lift ourselves up or help someone else. Just keep going no matter what happens to you in life. Keep fighting the fight, facing each challenge, being the best that we can be whenever, wherever. We are just passing through life. Let us cherish the times we are alive. We aim to be happy and try to be positive.

No matter what you step in, keep walking along and singing your song…because it’s all good.

Enjoy the rest of your day, the rest of the week!

Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes is an American children’s picture book written by Eric Litwin and illustrated by James Dean, first published in 2008. Wikipedia

You Know I’m Human Too

I usually have a sunny disposition. At least I try to. I like to spread the good vibes to others too. It makes me feel happy to make others happy. Because we deserve it, right? Focusing on the good is a good habit to happiness.

Please do not forget, it is also fine if sometimes it does not feel sunny at all. Remember, it is part of being human. You can blame it on mood swings, on hormones and other things. Mind you, I am no expert on this. I am also reminding myself RIGHT NOW.

This is the time I feel a little tired. Maybe physically or emotionally? I am not so sure. I think it is the hormones. Emotions tend to be a roller coaster ride. This is a time when I honestly just want to have a hair cut, change the color of my hair, or do some shopping online (still on the clearance or sale section!) The baby is napping. I have one hour. Oh, it took time to put her to sleep. Moreover, I was feeling upset too since I got into a little “argument” with my son this morning. You know how it is like to be so busy in the morning getting everybody ready for work, for school, getting everyone’s breakfast ready? Then my son waking up in a very bad mood then never stopped whining and giving me attitude? So I regret that I dropped him off to school without a goodbye kiss or a “have a great day.” Maybe this is the root of the mood? I will see him in three hours though. By that time I know I will be calm and ready. For now,  I have an hour to finish this blog and get myself ready. I will definitely try to relax so I will be recharged. Talk to God and ask for patience and love. I will enjoy my pancit and root beer. I may walk longer than the usual on the treadmill. I will get ready for the challenge. Then feel so much better.

I hope your day is going well. If it is not, it will be later!