Alarming Afternoon

As I became an adult I was convinced that life is not easy….This includes losing weight! It was not much of a concern to me before but now after having kids, losing weight does not just mean DIET or eating less. Of course, healthy eating is a very important factor but there are other things like working out or the body’s natural built.  It is alarming since I do not really notice the weight until I realized that I do not fit in some of my jeans anymore! I had to set them aside this morning to give more space in my closet. WP_20150506_00420150506132017

I am alarmed since I have to wear tops/blouses that are a little more lose. This way it helps me hide those love handles : (  Oh I am jealous of the people who are naturally blessed with the perfect body!

This has to do with self concept, self esteem again. I am still happy with myself. I love myself, but I have to watch out and be disciplined before it is too late. Do not want to come to that moment when I am starting to unlike myself. What to do now? Remind myself again to eat healthy and go back to my daily run on the treadmill!

Woman. Wife. Mother. Getting Older. Getting Bigger.

Are You Beautiful?

I rarely watch live TV shows. I usually watch through NETFLIX and only at night when the kids are asleep. A few nights ago, my husband was watching the news. I was on my IPAD reading some blog posts from my fellow bloggers. Suddenly, something got my attention. I thought it was unique and interesting. There was a very good message being sent out to everybody.

Last week, (April 6, 2015), Lane Bryant  launched a campaign called, #ImNoAngel  in Manhattan. The campaign appeals to plus-sized women. Unlike Victoria’s Secret, this caters to women sizes 14 to 28. The campaign features a video of six lingerie-clad women, including talking about what makes them feel sexy. “It’s all about how you feel,” one model says”. (Jennifer Swann, TakePart’s culture and lifestyle reporter)

“Our brand has begun to change the conversation of traditional notions of beauty, and we are excited to break the mold of how society defines sexy,” said Lane Bryant president and chief executive officer Linda Heasley” (David Moin,


This topic talks about being sexy. It then led me to my question of who is beautiful? What is beautiful? The society has defined it and dictated what we should aim to look like. As a result, some people who have the money resort to surgery to change their looks. Some want to be super skinny and aim a “perfect” body. Some use all kinds of whitening products to look fairer and flawless (common in Asian countries). For those who can not look like it, they begin to feel very self conscious or maybe have a low self esteem/perception of self.  They may think they are less beautiful/sexy or not beautiful/sexy at all. There is nothing wrong in trying to improve oneself, doing your best to look beautiful. Beauty makes life more wonderful. It is how the society/media defines who and what is beautiful. I guess we just have to include/represent everyone. I hope the social media will continuously help promote self acceptance and uplift the spirit of all people, to let them realize that they are beautiful regardless of the past, sizes, colors, clothes they wear, and accessories they own.

As parents, we have the responsibility to remind our children what real beauty is. We do not want them to be enslaved by vanity.  Now a song is playing in my head. I would like to share it with you:


by Christina Aguilera

Everyday is so wonderful
Then suddenly
It’s hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain
I’m so ashamed

I am beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down
I am beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can’t bring me down
Oh no
So don’t you bring me down today

To all your friends you’re delirious
So consumed
In all your doom, ooh
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The pieces gone
Left the puzzle undone
Ain’t that the way it is

You’re beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can’t bring you down
Oh no
You’re beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can’t bring you down
Oh no
So don’t you bring me down today

No matter what we do (no matter what we do)
No matter what we say (no matter what we say)
We’re the song inside the tune (yeah, oh yeah)
Full of beautiful mistakes

And everywhere we go (and everywhere we go)
The sun will always shine (the sun will always, always, shine)
And tomorrow we might awake
On the other side

We’re beautiful
No matter what they say
Yes words won’t bring us down
Oh no
We are beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can’t bring us down
Oh no
So don’t you bring me down today

Oh, oh
Don’t you bring me down today
Don’t you bring me down, ooh

The Magic of Haircut

This morning, I had a bad hair day. I felt so grouchy inside. I am not usually like that. For me that is a petty reason to be feeling down or cranky. My husband and I were taking the kids to the nearby park. I still could not fix my hair. Put it up, down, up, no good. I felt so lousy. I was not feeling good about myself. So I put a big hat on (just like the grandmas walking on a park) to hide my hair. Eventually, I got irritated with the big black hat so I took it off. I put my hair down from a hair donut. It was sunny and the kids were having fun running around. I put the hat on again since my face felt the scorching heat of the sun. I badly wanted to go home. Suddenly, someone I did not feel like talking to was approaching the park with her kids. She reminds me so much of a tactless person I know (which I dislike).  With the bad mood, I certainly did not feel like talking, but it left me with no choice. Then she was talking about how my husband looks like he is 25 years old. A lot of people say that he looks 10 years younger than his age. He has a baby face you can say and he works out regularly. This was agitating me. With my low self esteem this morning, it also reminded me of how hard I am trying to lose weight. It was implied or maybe I was thinking about it that I look older and “bigger”. When we came home, I cooked lunch, fed the kids, gave them a bath. As soon as my little girl fell asleep from the nap, without hesitation I told my husband that I am going out for a hair cut. I do not remember the last time I changed my hairstyle. Maybe it was way back in 2009 after I gave birth to my son. For years, I had the same hairstyle. Maybe today I just got sick of it. I needed a change. I went to the Salon and slowly I was feeling light (outside and inside) as I see the long strands saying goodbye. I came home feeling better. I put on a little make up and I started writing.  Why did not do it soon? Did I forget? Was I just contented all those times? Maybe I was concerned that I do not look good anymore with short hair? But I realized…it will still grow if I can not pull it through. It is not the end of the world.

Change is part of life. It is necessary at some point.