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One of the perks of being a stay at home mom is just being there for them, when they’re not feeling well or when they’re just chilling out.
Sometimes I complain about the stress of raising kids especially when they fight a lot or when they’re being difficult.
I just say that. I know the the time will come when they will no longer need me and I will miss every moment they were little.
I will have all these memories when they were growing up.
It is a nice cold morning today.
My hands are tired. As soon as I was done with my work, I had to sit down and write this down.
I just finished with my general cleaning in the kitchen. From the fridge to the freezer, to the tiles, cabinets and floor. Scrubbing. Mopping. Add all other details that has to do with the inside of each drawer and cabinet.
A lingering thought suddenly crossed my mind. I hold no grudge on these people but to be honest, their remarks annoys me very well.
This post is for all the stay-at-home moms like me. Sometimes we are called housewife, full-time mom, home-maker and others.
When I stopped going to work (the one where you get paid money), I had to focus on my growing son. Then followed by another baby girl. So I have been out of the work force for five years and 7 months now. When a cousin found out that I stopped working to take care of my child, he teasingly said “Wow, Doña.” In the Philippines, when somebody said that you’re a Doña, it means you’re rich and you’re living like a Queen. I do not remember how I responded to him but I can not forget that remark until now.
Another incident was when I brought my first grader to school while tagging my little girl along. This is a common sight in school. Moms with their little ones dropping off and picking up their older kids to school. Rain or Shine. Through the years, I bonded with other full time moms too. And sometimes we would be in a group. As I and some other moms were approaching, a friend who was a nurse jokingly told our other friend, “Eto na ang mga walang trabaho!” In English, it means “Here comes the ones who don’t work/jobless!” What did that suppose to mean? Of course it was petty. We did not have to confront her.
What are these remarks? I usually hear people asking about what job I do since I had a Master’s Degree in Psychology. And when they hear that I am a home-maker, one of the common reactions is “Wow, sarap!” In English something like “Wow, you’re lucky”.
I will be straightforward here. Yes, I am lucky because of one thing. I get to be hands on with my children. I see them grow each day. I personally take care of them. I am lucky because I now my kids feel secured and confident that I am there when they need me. A couple of instances my son was brought to the school clinic, in two minutes I am there to pick him up. Child care is a lot of work especially when you have babies, toddlers, or preschoolers. It is more work if you have two or three or more kids. With the demand for constant attention, and responding to different needs, you have to have all the energy and patience in the world.
Home care is another thing.
Yes I will feel like a queen if I have a helper in the house. Or have someone else do all the daily chores inside and out of the house. Keeping the house clean and in order is an everyday thing. It actually feels like never ending. I even have a list of things to do for my home projects just like when I was going to a regular job where I got paid.
Yes I will feel like a Doña if I have a cook to take care of breakfast, lunch and dinner, a driver to bring my kids to school and to pick them up, a tutor to teach my children or a nanny to give them a bath and other things that they need.
I do not have all these help, and I do not get paid for every single thing that I do. I do not complain (sometimes to my husband), I feel happy that I am given this mission right now. It is all labor of love. Mind you, I do not just sit in the house and have idle times. I do not sleep in the daytime because time flies and there are lots of things to do. But sometimes I need to recharge and have a break too. So I play the flute for a while or I write.
This is just a glimpse of what we do. This is the life of a home-maker, a full-time mom, a house wife. I am not saying that we are better than moms who go out and work (the one you get paid money). They have different challenges too. I was once working out of the house. I am just hoping that others will be enlightened that even if we are at home, WE ARE WORKING TOO!
Kudos to all women, to all mothers.
Now nap time is over for my girl. Have to wrap up my chores and time to get ready for school : )
Child Care -> Household Chores -> Baby naps for 1.5 hour -> Run on Treadmill ->
Blog -> Flute practice -> Child Care -> Household Chores -> Prepare Dinner – >
Child Care -> Get Ready for Bedtime -> Kids Sleep -> Either I get to watch TV or
Fall Asleep
Photo credit: www.kiddiematters.com
For stay at home moms out there, I know some of you can relate to this. Now that it is winter break, kids are home. I hear voices always saying, “Look Mom, Look Mom!” All at the same time. Simultaneous. While doing chores : ) It can get crazy. Need energy boosters!!!
The other day I was all smiles
They delivered my new pet.
Zooming around the house,
I was singing in joy while pushing it around.
I felt very happy…
When I was a little girl I was thrilled with gifts like toys or new clothes
I felt equally the same when I got my new cleaning vacuum : )
This morning I had a “disciplining” moment with my boy
Just right before he went to school.
I do not like feeling mad and sad.
I felt my chest so tight.
And to relieve the stress
I started moving the furniture around.
My little girl asked, “Mommy why are you moving stuff?”
She was jumping on the couch and having a great time.
I rearranged the living room and gave it a different look!
Now I feel recharged.
I believe I am really getting old…
Vacuum and rearranging the house?
I feel it was unleashing my creativity.
Now I feel happy again.
A friend visited me last year. He was my Professor from College until in the Graduate School. He works now in a University here in the US. He was even one of my mentors when I did my paper. With God’s help, I was able to finish the degree Master of Science in Psychology Major in Psychological Measurement. and I was able to do work for seven years related to the field.
So when I got married and started a family, there have been changes. I joke about it a lot with my husband. I tell him that I have the best education/career ever. Master of Science in Child Rearing and Housekeeping! And I have been an Administrator for years now running a house from food, to clothes, family schedules, child education, and everything! For free! (except when I go online shopping).
Seriously, when I see posts from social media how some of my friends have advanced in their careers, I ask myself how do I feel about myself. Yes sometimes I would imagine how I would be like if I chose a different path. Then I would ask are we here because of our choice or we are just destined to be where we are right now… or a combination of both?
I believe that one should just do his/her best each time, in every moment or chapter of life. And try to appreciate the now, where you are right now. It is true that when you count your blessings and appreciate all that you have, you will feel happy. Contented.
There is always a reason to smile.
Cuddling with my sweet girl is one of my favorite things to do. From my experience, I can say that Having a boy is different from having a girl in some ways. With girls, you get to dress them up, style them, do “girly” stuff/play together. They are usually mellow than the boys. It is true for me so I am more “relaxed” with her. They are such darlings and very sweet especially to their daddies. Mine is definitely a daddy’s girl!
With my son, I usually need to keep up with his energy, with his inquisitive mind, with his talking and moving around. He seems more dependent than his little sister. Calls my attention all the time. I guess he is a mommy’s boy. Although now that he is turning 7, I notice that we argue a lot. He is really challenging my patience. He is strong willed and … He is just growing fast. And yes, before I realize it, my baby girl will be too.
I notice I am starting to have strands of white hair. Found two strands recently! Being a parent can be so hard! I am not complaining, but just expressing. It is really exhausting but rewarding too (mixed emotions – driving me crazy). It is a big responsibility raising children. We are responsible for their well being, to provide them with their needs not just material but emotional, intellectual, spiritual and others. It is truly a mission to raise human beings who can thrive in this difficult and yet wonderful life, who will be happy, successful, and kindhearted people. May God bless and help each parent on earth!
I have a long way to go. For now, while they are little, I will have to enjoy the moments cuddling with them! Heaven is here 💕
I wish I have more time
To sit in front of my computer
To click on these keyboards
To type in the words
My mind and heart dictate
I will sneak out from time to time
Got to attend to Mama duties
The day is still long
As well as the night
My eyes will be open
To the beauty of life
I surely will come back
I will share to the world
Woke up at six in the morning
Stretched out on my bed
Thanked God for another waking moment
Hurried up to start the day
Headed down to the kitchen
Prepared breakfast for the family
Hoping it nourishes their bodies and their spirits too
Prepared my son’s food for school
Packed up lunch for my husband too
Amidst this busy morning
I cared for my darling toddler too
We dropped off her brother to school
Then headed back home
Got a list of things to do
All for the rest of the day
Got so much energy and my spirit is dancing
As I was sweeping the floor
Had the urge to write down these thoughts
How I love to ponder and write
I see more meaning in everything
While doing these little things
My heart overflows with love
Never ever stop
Thanking God for another waking moment!
K.Lazaro 